Marlouxia NOTE

ME AND MY FRIEND IN A CUP

GOD DAMN IT.. what time is it, geez 3 AM in the morning already

Okay.. so this is already my third cup of coffee, with some pile of my job paper still abandoned in my workdesk, 4 hour from now i must report all of this into my company.

well.. Lets just face it, night is still too long for me to relaxed and sleep,
looks like another day with lack of sleep will happen again.

yes.. entah udah berapa kali looping ini gw lakukan,
naek bawa kopi -> abis -> turun nyeduh -> naek lagi
kayaknya sih udah rit ke 3 dah

nasib...

begini nih kalo punya rumah yang kegedean, dan jarak antara ruang kerja sama dapur beda lantai, malem - malem jadi kebagian jatah fitnes gratis naek turun tangga

yah at least separoh kerjaan gw udah kelar dan siap gw submit, kalo gw rajin dan tetep high motivated, maybe gw msh bisa kebagian tidur 2 atau 3 jam. "better than nothing, eh?"

di saat yang lain sedang hilir mudik menyusuri aspal di luar sana, bersenda gurau dan tenggelam dalam larunya asmara malam, gw cuman bisa meratapi nasib jomblo yang sejak pulang kerja tadi cuman bisa duduk di depan kompi, berteman segelas kopi yang entah sudah berapa kali diisi senyawa senyawa kafein, sambil nyiapin beberapa kerjaan yang harus di submit besok pagi buat bahan projek customer.

ya udah lah ya.. namanya juga lagi ngebangun perusahaan baru, anggep aja perjuangan meniti sedikit demi sedikit langkah kaki menuju ke masa depan yang lebih baik, toh ga ada sesuatu yang bisa tumbuh secara instant kan?

Kopi aja yang dibilang kopi instant tetep mesti ada proses nya dulu, ya manasin aer dulu lah, yang nuang aer dulu lah, ya diaduk dulu lah.. (belom lagi kalo kopi item, ada lagi proses nunggu ampas turun), sebelum akhirnya bisa dinikmati.

yah gw rasa ga ada bedanya sama hidup dah, anggep aja saat ini gw lagi diproses untuk menjadi pribadi yang lebih matang di masa yang akan datang, saat ini gw sedang melalui banyak proses terjal untuk bisa menjalani hidup nikmat gw nantinya.

#Momen Bijak Di Malam Mabok Kafein

 

Cintanya adalah paket air mata, keringat, dan dedikasi
untuk merangkai jutaan hal kecil
agar dunia ini menjadi tempat yang indah dan masuk akal bagi seseorang.
​

As The rain knockin the window in my working room
I read this sentences in my PC
My memory flew far far away
to a story that happen some year ago
when i just nothing compared to my life now
And then some little dialogue pop un in my head,
Damn.. how many years it been?
if only.. at that time.. i.. was...
Ah.. nevermind.. it's already happen..
we can never replay back our lifetime event, tho.

Nyatanya terkadang manusia ga bakal pernah belajar dari kesalahan yang sama,
terutama soal hati dan perasaan..
meski udah berjanji beberapa tahun silam bahwa gw bakal ngilangin semua memori menyedihkan ini
toh tetep aja, terkadang gw ga bisa..

ternyata percuma menyibukan diri , hanya untuk lupa
karna tetep aja ketika nanti kita lagi sendiri, hati kita akan mulai jahat
dan menayangkan ulang klise klise ingatan pedih yang terkadang harusnya sudah kita pendam entah di belahan otak sebelah mana.

 

“Akan ada satu saat kamu bertanya:
pergi ke mana inspirasiku?
Tiba-tiba kamu merasa ditinggal pergi.
Hanya bisa diam, tidak lagi berkarya. Kering.
Tetapi tidak selalu itu berarti kamu harus mencari objek atau sumber inspirasi baru.

Sama seperti jodoh, Nan.
Kalau punya masalah,tidak berarti harus cari pacar baru kan?
Tapi rasa cinta kamu yang harus diperbarui.
Cinta bisa tumbuh sendiri,tetapi bukan jaminan bakal langgeng selamanya,apalagi kalau tidak dipelihara. Mengerti kamu?"

#Momen Kelar membaca Kutipan Sebuah Buku Yang menarik

 

So they say that time
Takes away the pain
But I'm still the same oh yeah
And they say that I
Will find another you
That can't be true oh

Why didn't I realize?
Why did I tell lies?
Yeah I wish that I could do it again
Ooh Turnin' back the time
Back when you were mine (all mine)

So this is heartache?
So this is heartache?
Hiroi atsumeta koukai wa,
Namida e to kawari oh baby

So this is heartache?
So this is heartache?
Ano hi no kimi no egao wa
Omoide ni kawaru
I miss you

Boku no kokoro o
Yuitsu mitashite satte yuku
Kimi ga
Boku no kokoro ni
Yuitsu furerareru koto ga dekita
Kimi wa

Oh baby
Mou inai yo mou nanimo nai yo
Yeah I wish that I could do it again
Ooh Turnin' back the time
Back when you were mine (all mine)


It's so hard to forget
Kataku musunda sono musubime wa
Yeah, It's so hard to forget
Tsuyoku hikeba hiku hodo ni

You and all the regret
Hodokenaku natte hanare renaku natta
Ima wa tsurai yo, sore ga tsurai yo
Sugu wasuretai yo
Kimi wo
​

#Momen Pulang Dari Rumah Friendzonean , Sendirian di Mobil, Sambil Mendengarkan Dengungan Tape Mobil yang menggaung kan lagu ini
sepanjang perjalanan

​

​

 

What do i feel rite now?
Let Me Tell you​

Switch the light off welcome to the night
What's the problem, not gonna make it right?
Bite the bullet then pull the trigger hold tight
"It's a feeling you know"

Running under Lights off in the sky
Nothing matters When you're in the fight
Hold your fire Maybe we can make it all right
"You take me for no one"

But I don't know what to call it
When I know I don't care anymore
In the end we know It's always wrong

Cry out Will you tell me now
So is everyone changing?
Never be the same
"Yeah..."

Oh I'm burning out
Can't you hear the sound?
"Voices all around, Cause we're going down"

In the moment, can't move from the start
So close, so hard to fall apart
Only heaven know how far we are
"I take you for no one"

I love this feeling You're the only one that's really lost
Never gonna get it right
But I don't know what to call it
When I know I don't care anymore
In the end I know we'll all be gone

One by one it's taking apart it's taking apart of me
Can't you hear the voices screaming?
"Out loud to me I feel it"
We can be the change we need it
"Shout it out now "

 

#Moment Lost In Own Thought​

Dedicated to every girl in the world

Treat her like shes more than you want..
more than you could ever dream..
and more than she thinks she is...
like shes everything you've ever wanted..
make sure you speak to her sweeter and
love her deeper be true and
be kind she's more than just a girl...

she's and angel without wings,
she's the sweetest thing in the world
and is more precious than a thousand roses..
girls Never frown
because you never know When someone is falling In love with your smile,
let her know you care let her know by doing something special for her
call her everynight just to make sure everthings alright
and to remind her you still care..

always wish her the sweetest dreams...
when she cries let your shoulder be the first she rests her head upon,
and cry with her,
letting her know shes not alone,
when she laughs let you be the first to hear her,
when shes down help her laugh but most of all guys...
when you tell her you love her let her see the tears in your eyes..................

When you say I'm care I say "yeah right,"
but what im really saying is "do you really think so?"

When you say good job i say "thanks"
but what Im really saying is "I love that you notice."

When you say we'll be together forever I say "I hope so"
but what im really saying is "I hope forever never ends."

When you say I love you I say "I love you too"
but what Im really saying is "never stop saying that."

When you say that I dont care I say "yes I do"
but what Im really saying is
"I care for you more than you'll ever know."
​

 

She said that she wanted to get high. ​

I took her to the tallest hill in town.
​

She said that she wanted to stay up all night and drink.
I gave her a 12 pack of caffeinated Pepsi and said, "Drink up."

She said that she wanted to shoot herself in the face.
I gave her a water gun, put her finger on the trigger,
aimed it at her face, and helped her pull the trigger.

She said that she wanted to cut herself.
I took a Polaroid of her, handed it to her along with scissors, and had her cut it up.

She said that she wanted to see her blood.
I took her to get her ears pierced.

She said that she wanted to cry herself to sleep.
I had her watch a sad, romantic movie before bed.

She said that she wanted to be alone.
I gave her a name tag that said "My Name Is: Alone."

She said that she wanted to have someone there to take care of her, always.
I asked "wasn't I".​

 

A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"

"Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."

The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy."

God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."

Again the child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"

God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."

"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"

God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."

"Who will protect me?"

God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking it's life."

"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."

God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."

"You will simply call her, 'Mom.'"

_____________________________________________________________

Yess... Akhirnya gw mulai belajar menulis novel huahahhahaha
entah nanti nya jadi seperti apa, let's watch and see

 

Way too many people are scared to communicate to the person who matters most ,so they front like they are content with these half-ass relationships .

Speak up for what you REALLY want and maybe you will get it or continue to shut the f*** up and pretend that you are still ok with consistent bulls**t .

Your choice .It has always been your choice.

You know that you can't change them ,but you can change the situation by changing YOURSELF .

And that still doesn't guarantee that THEY will appreciate you . But,at least you are not '' trust faking '' ,''happy faking ''and ''love faking '' ..and letting your fear of pushing them away eat you alive quietly .

You probably feel as though you will push them away if you express yourself ,especially when they make you feel like you are
1.Crazy .
2. Overreacting .
3. Insecure and only thing is that they are the problem .

What the use of sacrificing your personal peace just to please the person who knows how to ''make '' you happier ,yet choose not to ?? I'm learning as i go... leaving them to handle their own bulls**t .