The Star's shadow has diary

jadi malu...
gara2 rangking 1 idws, aku harus cek satu2 mod yang pernah di angkat dan masih aktif di indowebster.
tapi ternyata waktu aku sambangi profilenya, nggak cuma aku aja yang jadi stalker... banyak peserta rangking 1 yang mengecek juga.. jadi ada temennya.. temen stalker..
udah ah.tobat... ini lho bahasa indonesia aja nggak bisa kerjain... kok malah bingung curhat di diary..

sekina.. eh sekian..

 

Spoiler: reminder for always being grateful

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
R
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.

His bed was next to the room’s only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.
Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.

She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.


She said, ‘Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.’

i should be grateful for everything that happens in my life.. good things aren't always good and bad things aren't always bad.

 

I just realize, being alone is scary things.

Begini ceritanya:

akhir2 ini aku selalu pakai headset buat dengerin lagu2 dari komputer. tapi baru kali ini aku ngerasa aneh. begitu distop lagunya (buat mikirin sambil mempelajari cara benerin HPku yang rusak ), rasanya sunyi banget..... saking sunyinya sampai aku bela2in mikir sambil dengerin lagu2. mana lagunya itu, lagu2 yang ngedance bikin orang geleng2 kepala..

ternyata bener juga yang pernah aku baca waktu itu. Ada orang2 yang meskipun lagi sibuk di PC, tetep nyalain TV biar rame... because the silence of being alone is sooo scary..

ganti lagu aja kali ya...
pilih lagu yang instrumen atau mellow.. (kalau mellow, ntar malah mikirin derita hidup )

ok, sekian curhatan hari ini...

sekalian update page one...

 

Hari ini akhirnya selesai juga cake pesanan orang. Meskipun kurang puas, tapi akhirnya hasilnya nggak jelek juga..

Spoiler: Red Velvet Chilled Cheese Cake

Gimana? Cantik nggak?



Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk 4 Beta

 

Happy birthday to me..
Akhirnya udah umur 21 ( walaupun dari januari kalau di tanya umur jawabnya 21, habisnya nanggung ultahnya di tengah tahun. )

Umur 21 banyak temen yg udah nikah tapi prinsipku tetep, masa muda itu harus dimaksimalkan. Kalau nggak, ntar jadi ibu2 nggak bisa tanggung jawab n maunya seneng2 aja.

Sebelum mikirin nikah, Aku berdoa mudah2an di umur segini aku bisa sukses mencari uang sendiri n hidup mandiri.

Dan kalau ntar ditakdirkan menikah, aku berdoa semoga dapat jodoh yg bisa membimbing sekeluarga ke jalan yg benar dan perhatian serta penuh kasih sayang k keluarga. Nggak harus kaya tapi lebih merhatiin keluarga daripada kerja n selalu meluangkan waktu untuk keluarga, amiin.. Ya Allah.




Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk 4 Beta

 

loneliness has struck me again...

hidup di dunia yang nggak punya siapa2 selain Tuhan... meski aku bersyukur tentang semua yang ada di hidupku, I just wish I can bury this loneliness feeling that keeps coming back..

keluarga masih ada, tapi entah kenapa rasanya sepi banget.
tapi melihat nenekku yang sudah kehilangan suami dan pernah kehilangan salah satu anaknya, aku sadar kalau kesepianku ini belum ada apa2nya dibandingkan perasaan orang yang kehilangan orang tercintanya... mudah2an kami sekeluarga bisa berkumpul di tempat yang baik di hari akhir nanti.

seandainya kalau aku kesepian, bisa segampang itu keluar dan ketemu temen2.
tapi semua pasti sibuk. atau kalau nggak, ya akunya yang sibuk..

sosialisasi di media sosial atau forum? tetap aja kesepian.
nggak bisa ngelihat muka secara langsung, nggak bisa dengerin suaranya, nggak terasa sosial2nya sama sekali..

just my rant

 

mengingat orang2 yang sudah lebih dahulu pergi.

I really never knew I could hurt like this. though I know that we could meet again afterlife, I just has one wish that is Me and my family will be together in a good place afterlife.

 

sudah lama nggak bikin cake atau roti, atau bahkan dessert lain.

kenapa ya?

nggak ada bahan?

ada kok...

nggak ada resep?

ada juga, banyak malah...

bosen?

kangen malah...

trus kenapa?


entahlah

besok aku bikin deh..

daripada nggak ada kerjaan..

Spoiler: note to self

jadi kayak orang gila bicara sendiri.. anggap aja aku lagi ngomong sama diary

Spoiler: note to self part 2

waktu 1 hari udah nggak ada rasanya. kesannya 18 jam kurang gitu. (18 jam soalnya dikurangi waktu tidur )
seminggu rasanya kurang lama, sebulan rasanya cepet banget, and ga kerasa sekarang udah mau tahun baru lagi. tambah umur lagi ga ada tombol pause, yang ada malah rasanya tombol forward stuck, jadi waktunya kecepetan harus lebih bisa menghargai waktu

 

I really want to get over you. but you keep coming back..

 

tulis diary dulu. poin penting diary ini adalah:

1. tanggal 31 desember <- the date that I hate the most
2. untuk menyimpan teori dari ratu jalang alias user queen bitch

Spoiler: gol.darah

nggak tahu itu bener atau nggak. tapi ntar aku cari cara buat buktiin

diary, end

 

ternyata sale gk diperpanjang
untunglah.. soalnya aku belum sempat pergi keluar buat buka rekening...

thanks idws

 

simpan info penting:

and I just wanna say, I'm tired to be the one that I'm not.
I'm tired pretending to be someone else

 

lagi2 ngisi diary buat naruh barang penting



note to self

 

for record, for next game

good thing I won

sorry for my partner...

 

kalau nggak karena kebaikan Mycodeis007; aku nggak bakal bisa lolos stage 1. padahal pasti udah jelas aku demon

makasih

soalnya kalau di MR, aku pasti mati di stage 1

tapi lolos stage 1 LG, malah stage 2nya mirip MR. alamat nggak lolos

 

mimpi keterima selama dua hari berturut2..



mimpinya justru berlawanan kok pastinya

 

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aku lega nggak menang LG..
bukannya apa2, tapi aku sadar kalau aku ini nggak cocok jadi baddies.
kenapa harus maksain?
meskipun aku nggak stress atau apa2 karena game ini, in fact I enjoy it. but, I can't lie. that's my problem and I'm proud of that.
game MR atau LG berikutnya, jadi penonton aja
kemaren aja aku udah ngaku ke beberapa orang kalau aku ini demon. soalnya aku nggak pengen orang yang aku kenal merasa tertipu.

tapi karena tipuan jadi dapat kenalan

Mycodeis007; aku kalah beneran kualat gara2 boongin donatur

thanks for the support all this time

 

mimpi ketiga kalinya

I don't know anymore...

sekalian mau curhat.

kok ada ya orang yang mau menjilat ludahnya sendiri..


but that's life, everyone human is the most selfish creature in the world