A+23 - Visual Daybreak

Alhamdulillah, makasih Ya Rabb.. Akhirnya selama ini terus di serang tapi masih kuat, hari ini bisa nangis juga.. Dan, bener-bener ngerasa lega, bener-bener lega dari yang sebelumnya.. Makasih Ya Rabb

 

The biggest reward for me this week is: been able to crying, out loud. After all these years, my pride won't let me to cry, even though its hurts like hell, I didn't cry.

 

Rather than it was no big deal... rather than saying I will be okay... it's more comfort that there was someone else with the same pain. I was only knocked down for a little bit. Let's get back up, Hae Young. When I think about it I've never really given myself to love 100 percent. I was always cautious and nervous. I worried if I liked the person more. Let's not do that any more. If I meet someone I like I will love the man all the way until I get dumped. I will never turn around crying because I was yelled at to get lost. I will hold onto the man and not let go even if I get beaten up. I will give it everything. Shouldn't you fall in such love once in your lifetime? Another Oh Hae Young, Episode 3 Its my first time that the character in a drama share a same story with me Im not that pitiful though but I think she was lucky, after something bad happen, she has someone who can console her Its also my first time that I really into that female character Everytime I watch drama, I always go into male character and love him more This drama make me cry with every lines they share I can't. I want to escape.

 

Spend your quality time with a friends. Not social media. Hari ini cerita dari semangat sampe suara serak setelah ketemu temen. Rasanya udah gak ada lagi keinginan buat update update Bener emang kalo quality time sama temen dan gak pegang hp itu lebih kerasa waktunya.. huaaaaaaaaaaaahh kangen mentemen

 

One of the reason why I won't tell what I've been through to my Mom is... only getting worse. Tapi akhirnya cerita juga, itupun meskipun dengan pride yang tinggi, jadinya malah nyeritain intisarinya aja.. Tapi akhirnya malah ngerasa gak enak, ngerasa gak enak karena Mama juga pasti jadi ngerasa sakit hati.. Bener aja kan ckck Aku bisa nyeritain ke semua temen, sodara, bahkan temen yang lain dengan ketawa ketawa.. Sama Mama, jadinya nangis.. Mama yang nangis duluan itu juga. Dan.... sampe ngontak orang yang bikin sakit hatinya. Hah yaudahlah.

 

HY: Liking someone is so humiliating. It's humiliating. It's maddening. HR: I know you very well. You're not the type to just crazily fall for someone. Honestly, I thought it was weird when you called the wedding off. I thought something must had gotten into you or you had just lost it. I couldn't predict your next move. You were all over the place. You were like a different person. And now too. You seem like a different person falling for Park Do Kyung. I'm so curious to know what about him has so strongly drawn you toward him. HY: From the moment I saw him I just... revealed my insides to him. HR: What did you reveal? HY: Something I couldn't tell to anyone else. I... got dumped the day before my wedding. He said... he lost the confidence to love me for the rest of his life. Also... he said he couldn't stand the way I eat anymore. Strangely, I only tell everything to him. When we were picking the class president I got one vote. I voted for myself. Because I was worried I wouldn't get a single vote. Once I revealed one thing, I wasn't scared to reveal everything. HR: You've recognized it right away. That Park Do Kyung is your person to rely on. That's what men and women relationships are like. Within the first minute of meeting him, you can tell him everything once you realize that's the man you can rely on. Even the things you couldn't tell your closest friends. HY: Why do you think that is? HR: Because it's between a man and a woman. HR: Anything could happen between a man and a woman. Regardless of how close I am to you there are many things that I don't tell you either. But I end up revealing everything to my men. More so than my decade-long friendship, my month-old relationship with a man is psychologically more comforting. That's what relationships between men and women are like. Oh Hae Young & Kim Hee Ran conversation on Another Oh Hae Young episode 06 This is so damn true

 

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Feels like a hell every period time But this time is a blessing for me These days, as always, I'm thinking about many things, people, stuff, about to get stress once again~ Bosen sebenernya terus terusan mikir tentang orang lain Perasaan orang lain, kehidupan orang lain, pikiran orang lain Hari ini? Bener bener gak ada! Hari pertama pastilah sakit, gak pake gak, apalagi abis kiranti 2 botol ckck Cuma awalnya aku biarin aja, orang lagi di perpus, lagi fokus banget ngeresume buat skripsi Eh malah sakitnya makin sakit, butuh rebahan, tapi di perpus gak ada lantai lesehan buat selonjoran hiks Akhirnya balik lah ke rumah, dan di jalan masih rame sama iring iringannya Pak Presiden yang dateng ke Bandung mmm~ Pemikiran ini itu emang masih ada Yang akhir akhir ini dipikirin~ Tapi, hari ini cuma kaya angin lewat! Beneran deh, hari ini akhirnya bisa fokus sama diri sendiri Gak ada tuh menye menye pengen minta bantuan orang lain Niken yang dulu berasa balik lagi Ayok kaya gini tiap hari Ken! Yang mikirin diri sendiri Yang maju terus tanpa mikirin pendapat orang lain yang gak berurusan sama hidup kamu~ Apalagi bentar lagi sahum, bisa kan mulai jaga emosinya lagi? Semangat yuk ah

 

R, Semoga di pertemuan kita selanjutnya ... gak ada lagi perasaan aku yang kaya gini Semoga di pertemuan kita selanjutnya ... aku udah bisa ketawa kaya kamu pas kita flashback Semoga di pertemuan kita selanjutnya ... kita dalam keadaan baik-baik untuk bersilaturahmi Ga ada istilah 'bayar utang' Ga ada istilah 'merasa bersalah' Apalagi istilah yang mungkin gak bisa aku pikirin sekarang.. Semoga ya :') Aaamiin.

 

Mari kita mulai page baru

 

Kalo kata quote terkenal mah: Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. – Jonathan Lockwood Huie Kangen nonton gigs

 

It's so sad that .... - your friend start to ignore you because they say you're no longer in the same place & hobbies with them - your friend family began to unwelcome you because only one people sentence - your friend promised to treat you but only in words, and later he is sayin that he was busy and then promise next time ... if theres a time - you used to called each other love and blessing but turn into hatred - when people said you only remain as debt in his life -which must be paid-, and they start to run away from your life ...and after a long time, they just said 'I pray the best for you', and forgot what they promised long time ago and I also begin to hate them, the past, and won't grateful for what I get till today It's sad, a sad life it is.

 

Nothing lasts forever. The things that we take for granted... won't be with us forever. That also goes for bad memories. When we erase our bad memories, it will be replaced... with other memories. From the bottom of my heart, I wish that those memories will always bring a smile to your face... anytime you think about it. Erasing Bad Memories. Infinity Challenge, 470

 

Yang di bikin rindu dari Ramadhan tuh momentnya~ Kapan lagi coba, ibadah bareng-bareng, masjid pinggir rumah jadi penuh gegara orang berlomba-lomba ke masjid.. Excuse excuse reuni buat buka bersama.. Makan bisa satu meja bareng bareng.. Kadang ... aku berharap kalo setiap bulan itu Ramadhan

 

Sometimes after a bad break up.. I went through a lot of distress so I decided to throw away or send back all the things I receive during the relationship.. My bad. But I just won't to see all the painful memories I've been through after all things happened. The sad thing I've mentioned before, because only one painful incident, let all the good memories faded like a wind. But after all, I've just realized that the good lesson, habit and all the thing that -without intention- do as my daily habit I've received from him, the memories doesn't really gone -although I throw away all the gifts / stuff-. So I think, I just keep it as good memories after all this time. although that painful memories were still ringing again and again........

 

NBS: PD Lee. People are all naturally selfish, aren't they? When you have enough problems of your own and you're in a dire situation... then you wouldn't have time to think of others, right? People are like that, right? PD Lee: Yes... because they are human. - Oh My Ghost Episode 12 -

 

Take care... Shin Soon Ae. I see that she's leaving, that pitiful wench. That's right. Don't look back and leave, you wench! If people knew when death was coming and could say goodbye, how nice would that be? It's just not possible and that's why life is this way. That's why you've got to live each day hard like it's precious. You lived harder than almost anyone! That's something I know. Farewell, Shin Soon Ae! You lived a good life, Soon Ae! - Oh My Ghost Episode 16 -

 

Kepikiran dari kemaren kemaren mau nulis ini cuma lupa terus Dulu, duluuuu banget jaman SD pernah gak sih ngisi biodata terus saling tukeran gitu sama temen-temen? Kalo anak perempuan kayanya pernah ya, jaman jamannya tukeran isi binder sampe yang bagus banget harus diganti 2x isi binder biasa XD Inget gak, disana kita nulis apa aja? Nama, hobby sampe yang paling akhir adalah sejenis kesukaan dan yang gak di sukai.. Kaya misalnya, makanan yang disukai, makanan yang gak disukai, hal yang disukai dan hal yang dibenci.. Inget gak kalo misalnya kita pas ngisi itu pernah mikir panjang mau isi apa biar semua jenis terisi? Pernah? Berarti memang dari sana mulainya.. Aku baru kepikiran sekarang, kalo sesuatu yang diciptakan itu selalu membekas sampai kapanpun.. Terutama untuk kita yang gak punya alergi akan sesuatu, semua yang di 'suka-gak suka' itu di ciptakan agar kita punya karakter.. Kita suka warna tertentu dari sejak kita kecil? Belum tentu, bisa jadi orang tua kita memberikan hal yang bagus untuk kita dan akhirnya melekat dalam kepribadian kita. Kita suka makanan tertentu sejak kita kecil? Bisa jadi, kita akan suka apapun, terutama kalo orang tua kita atau saudara yang kasih. Kita suka sifat-sifat tertentu sejak kecil? Belum tentu, meskipun kita gak suka sama temen main A atau B, kita bakal tetep main sama mereka karena mereka juga bakal melakukan hal yang sama. Apalagi berantemnya anak kecil gak akan lebih dari sehari. Terus gimana dengan hal-hal yang gak disukai? Apa kita emang gak suka sejak awal? Gak kok. Semuanya itu doktrin sebenernya, doktrin dari kalangan luar, mostly media. Jujur, saya waktu kecil biasa aja sama yang namanya coklat. Tapi ketika saya diajak ke kantor ibu saya, temen-temen kerjanya suka ngasih saya coklat karena diantara temen kerjanya itu cuma Ibu saya yang udah berkeluarga. Gak cuma satu dua yang kasih, tiap saya kesana, malah biar saya 'ikut' sama mereka sekedar di gendong atau diajak ke supermarket, saya di kasih coklat. Dari situlah saya suka coklat. Simple, karena di kasih. Apalagi kalo ngasih ke anak kecil gitu kan senyumnya lebar banget, soalnya ngeliat anak-anak pasti lucu. Padahal ketika saya gede, saya biasa aja sama coklat, cuma karena saya nulis 'suka coklat' sebagai makanan kesukaan. Jadilah si coklat ini selalu nempel sama image saya. Iya, image yang di ciptakan. Tapi saya juga gak memungkiri kalo coklat itu emang enak, dan saya juga bisa makan makanan manis lebih banyak dari yang lain. Simple. Karena saya di biasakan untuk makan manis dari kecil, coklat itu. Padahal ketika tumbuh dewasa, saya juga bisa adaptasi sama makanan yang lain. Saya lupa selain coklat, saya bisa makan apel - pisang - mangga sebanyak banyaknya selama masih ada di rumah. Oh iya, saya juga suka kastengels -kue lebaran itu- dan saya abisin satu toples sendiri. Nah karena image yang diciptakan ini, hadirlah sesuatu yang dinamakan suka dan gak suka. Padahal apa sih sebenernya yang kita gak suka? Toh apapun setelah beradaptasi kita bisa menerima. Saya akhir-akhir ini mikir, kok saya bisa jadi yang asalnya suka jadi biasa aja dan yang gak suka jadi suka? Karena semakin kita dewasa, semakin kita punya pengalaman, kita bakal beradaptasi. Karena secara gak langsung otak dan perasaan kita bisa menerima apapun itu, tapi kita bereaksi bisa menyesuaikan, iya kan? Kadang, kita lihat orang 'ih si A kelakuannya kaya gitu ya, saya gak suka.' Sayangnya kita gak bisa menilai seseorang dari apa yang kita lihat atau dengar saat itu saja. Saya pernah baca quotes kira kira isinya gini, 'Apa yang terlihat oleh mata, belum tentu terdengar oleh telinga, dan juga sebaliknya, terkadang salah satu dari mereka tertutup. Untuk melihat sesuatu, kita harus melihat dengan mata dan mendengar dengan telinga, tidak hanya dengan salah satunya.' Terkadang kita melihat sesuatu dari kejauhan seperti kekerasan, namun saat dekat ternyata bukan, saat kita mendengar ceritanya ternyata berbeda dengan apa yang kita kira saat melihat. terkadang ada teman kita berbagi informasi, kita mendengar dan menjudge berdasarkan apa yang kita dengar. Tetapi saat kita tahu informasi itu dengan mata kepala kita, dengan pendengaran kita secara langsung tanpa pihak ketiga, semuanya berbeda. Agak jauh ya topik nulisnya, intinya jangan lagi dibiasakan apa yang kita suka dan kita gak suka. Mereka itu tabu, kita mahluk sosial bisa kok beradaptasi sama lingkungan sekitar lebih baik tanpa kriteria tersebut.

 

After put everything I won't to see in a box, suddenly my mind feel easier.. After putting all of them I come to realize that me, myself deserve to be happy more than anyone.. I think its really a good idea to start anew..