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murasaki LINE

Discussion in 'Dear Diary' started by murasaki, Mar 18, 2010.

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  1. murasaki M V U

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    the shadows are getting longer HAUNTING
    in the corner of my head​

    Let's get back to a few weeks ago..

    Which I don't remember exactly when..

    Feels like boiling water with mud on the bottom.
    (Does it even possible? Metaphor which created by myself...)
    So this is how should it feel, keeping things inside, which I force not get it surfaced. Neither in my words nor even in my head.
    But I guess it's already the time, I took the consequences. Which is just mild things only. Just a bad mood. Which I don't know when it's gonna be end. Slowly and painful...

    Excessive, am I?

    - - -​

    Few words, few texts..
    I've seen, prove that you're changing, switching...
    But does it true? I don't really know. How wonderful life is...

    If only...

    But I guess, you're just keeping your feet at the line.

    Safely...​

    Just listen to your voice. Should made me happy. But, really, the only thought that I could think of is how you're not belong here. Wish I could stop breathing this painful air right now, or maybe that choco bear in the corner if my bed, would you come to life and kindly smother me?

    Is it me or because I don't keep track of these things? I feel like I couldn't remember exactly why I've seen those shadows. I purposely keep my mind blank if ever this matters comes up, is that why I couldn't remember?

    Now I'm afraid of the dark...
    When shadows are getting longer and haunts me. Feels like hiding myself inside the blanket.

    Just a word from you is enough. Like an injection of venom. First just a bite of an ant, slowly the pain stirring and twirling in my beating heart.

    Just out of nowhere you used that word, without even care of my feeling. Which should have shown even just a glimpse, because I supposedly force it back inside. I acted as nothing happened.
    You manage to erase smiles from me, or even let tears slipped out.

    Why I keep these inside?

    Because I know what's in the end.

    Either way aren't good enough.

    Either I letting you go or force you to be here aren't good enough.

    Your voice is for now enough. The soul I can't grasp but the skin I could trace my finger on is warm.

    - - -​

    I'm running a test which I think it would last in a month. To see if I do have a control on a person?
    Yes, I had a pre-test a few days ago. I gave that person a command. And for now I'll use an androgen calling 그 which meaning he/she.

    So few days ago...
    I have a request for 그, to go to some place. At first 그 said don't have the liberty to choose whether to go or not to go. At the crucial hour. I asked 그 again, going to go or not going to go? 그 said yes, will go.

    The result is even that person quite doubtful eventually will say yes to my request.

    It's only a pre-test. But it's leads to a disappointment. Just like what has been said. Doesn't have the liberty to go or not to go. Couldn't go. I'll let it slip this time.

    How many times I have everything wrong has slipped? Just because of the sake of my existence? But again, what's wrong and what's right? People's tolerance are uneven.

    Because of a promise word given more things to expect. Because tomorrow will come.

    So the next day, I'll have to know whether words are being done. I expecting should be around noon. So I asked the promise word. Still not in liberty to go. I was losing my patience. So I threaten to go away. Afraid of missing me, called franticly, telling me to calm down. But still not choosing any decision and giving me the chances between waiting patiently or went away. Given half an hour. I asked again impatiently. The answer finally there. As I wanted.

    So for this first conclusion is...

    As long as I keep waiting patiently, the result would be there.

    Rolling my eyes, I'm not good at waiting!!!

    I'll have my final conclusion at the end of November. Whether to hug the haunting shadow or else.

    My plans are always ruins with those two. It's gonna be a year next mid-month since the last time. I think it's gonna be repeated all over again. Maybe it's gonna be some annual event, if I don't need my shadow, my Tod.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]​

    그림자는 길어지고
    Die Schatten Werden Laenger
    The Shadows Are Getting Longer
     
    • Like Like x 1
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2012
    murasaki, Oct 28, 2012
    #81

  2. Ramasinta Tukang Iklan

  3. murasaki M V U

    murasaki
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    I AM proud of his MUSIC
    the one and only, Junsu​

    20121029 제18회 한국뮤지컬대상 남우주연상 수상 김준수
    20121029 The 18th Korea Musical Grand Award Best Actor is Kim Junsu

    [​IMG]
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    [​IMG]
    credit as tagged​


    -Award-Winning Career Since debut 2009-

    2010(Mozart)
    Winner of the Best Newcomer Actor at 4th The Musical Awards
    Winner of the Most Popular Actor at 4th The Musical Awards
    Winner of the Most Popular Actor at 16th Korean Musical Awards
    Winner of the Best Newcomer Actor at 16th Korean Musical Awards

    2011 (Tears of Heaven)
    Winner of the Most Popular Actor at 5th The Musical Awards
    Winner of the Most Popular Actor at 17th Korean Musical Awards

    2012(Elisabeth)
    Winner of the Popular Star Awards at 6th The Musical Awards
    Winner of the Best Actor for a Leading Role at 18th Korean Musical Awards

    cre: http://dedicatee.wordpress.com

    Best day of my life...

    Even the best day could ruin too..

    Felt not right from the start, little stumbling on the way.. Not as good as I expected, and look at the end. The total amounts of missed call. Even tough you didn't say the word. It's pointed to it. A little bit mad of you. And you must saw me mad.
     
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2012
    murasaki, Oct 29, 2012
    #82

  4. murasaki M V U

    murasaki
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    a week NO holiday
    sleeeeeeepyy...​

    Let's get back to 3 days ago..
    Friday night like any other Friday night we used to be played games every week. You'll see some picture of the games on my FB. Just lately, my competitiveness doesn't get so high. So I just went along the game. We played till pass midnight. I sleep around 4 am I guess.
    Saturday morning, my little sister came to Jakarta to watch JJ FM that night. She came around 11, and my room is all mess, haven't tidying anything.. :hehe: still sleepy...
    I had an appointment with sputnix should be around 12 but get revised to 3 pm. Time passed so quickly that day, I knew that this week wouldn't feel like holiday at all. The FM start around 8 which is late from schedule should be around 7. Finish around 11 I guess, I forgot to check on my time. The detail on the FM would be posted in separate post. And then the Sunday came. I made another appointment with my friends to go out, just because my sister could meet them. Sunday morning, still sleepy... Around 9 I had to woke up and getting ready. Which caused a little bit of my bad temper slipped out. My sister who can't manage her time made me frustrated a bit. We went to Puri, 6 of us... Like usual the 4 plus my sister and Y, my bro's friend. We planned maybe around 3 pm should have went home. But an idea to watch Skyfall get in. So the 3 of us went to the movie and the rest went home. We watched it at 5.30 pm and it's ended at 8 pm. We go back around 8.30 and have a dinner. At dinner, I met N. Around 9.30 we went home. I was so sleepy, but my sister insisted to watch RM. One episode done around 11 I guess, I lost track of time because of my sleepiness. I sleep around midnight.
    This morning, she should went to the train station about the same time I go to work. Still the same issue. Her time management is too worst. Whatever happened, she's at her office right now..

    And I'm still sleepy.........

    Breaking down.. Feels like the air is choking me, getting hard to breathe..
     
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2012
    murasaki, Nov 5, 2012
    #83

  5. murasaki M V U

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    thinking positive? NO?
    none of your business​

    haduh... hari ini buka FB pertama2 liad ginian...

    Yg nulis, comment d bawah ny bangga bener sama quote yg dia bikin...
    padahal grammar ancur gt... #EnglishTeacher mode on

    rasa ny pengen nyela... #PMS? mode on...

    1. Something happen is because ...
    klo gw artiin: beberapa hal terjadi karena...
    jadi beberapa hal yg laen ngga akan terjadi karena...?
    => lebih bagus klo pake Things karena klo diartiin jadi ny hal-hal...
    => Things happens checked: http://www.perfect-english-grammar.com
    kenapa ada 's'? karena, kata ganti dari things adalah 'it' bukan he, she, you, i...
    => 'is' hilang...
    kenapa? klo pake is maka saat kalimat ini dibuat, maka things yg lagi disebutkan seharusnya sedang terjadi.
    tetapi, konteks kalimat ny sedang membicarakan tentang hal-hal yang terjadi, baik sekarang, d masa lalu, ataupun d masa depan.

    2. there's have cause and effect..
    klo gw artiin: ada punya sebab dan akibat..
    => ngga perlu pake there's (there is) kecuali ingin menggunakan kata ganti dari 'things' yaitu menggunakan 'it'
    => have diganti jadi has. check rules about simple present tense..
    => karena things with 's' makan cause and effect menjadi causes and effects
    => for the sake of my vocabulary, i'll use outcome. it's only just a choice.

    Things happens because it's has causes and outcomes.

    I'm not saying that my English is good, because I made mistakes too sometimes.
    But to brag for things like that is just...
     
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2012
    murasaki, Nov 6, 2012
    #84

  6. murasaki M V U

    murasaki
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    just GET OUT
    like a repeating history​

    Hidden Content Hide H Membutuhkan 500 post(s):
    **Hidden Content: To see this hidden content your post count must be 500 or greater.**
    Everyone... Let me welcome you again to my zombieland...
     
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2012
    murasaki, Nov 11, 2012
    #85

  7. murasaki M V U

    murasaki
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    SIMPLY JUST A trick
    . . .​

    I wanna cry.. cry.. cry...
    Crying a river till I couldn't feel anything then I'll stop crying

    I wanna know how to crying out bloods?
    I want to know how to be blind...

    Baru dengerin lagi lagu ost ny nice guy..
    Knp br skr malah berasa sejuk bgt suara ny Junsu?
    Kemaren pas pertama denger ko, ngga gt pas d telinga... Bs2 d getok Junsu.. :hehe:

    Kangen sm Junsu.. Kapan k Indo lg ya?
     
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2012
    murasaki, Nov 12, 2012
    #86

  8. murasaki M V U

    murasaki
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    THE BEGINNING of every end
    the grim​

    @kellyboham

    Kita emang ngga punya hati...:kecewa:

    So should I? Out of ordinary?

    I had forgotten the importance of being grateful, these days, hadn't I?
    The devils inside me is getting the best of me.
    Miserable I am.

    But still I can't be that grateful enough to be happy..
    How could I?
     
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2012
    murasaki, Nov 13, 2012
    #87

  9. murasaki M V U

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    B.U.T doesn't matter
    what's inside the heart does matter​

    I found that somewhere around twitter...

    What if I know deep down, that they are the right person. So I should force myself to fallin?
    But it doesn't matter..
    Now..​

    Beauty doesn't matter, this face isn't matter.

    . . .why suddenly I froze while thinking about this thing?

    For me, it's doesn't matter if you left a scar on my face. If you left a scar on my face. Than I should be left the same thing on your face. It's easy.

    What's inside the heart the matter. So, what inside my heart, does it matter to you?
    If it's does matter to you, show me, I'll let you in.
    I don't need you to come in if only to let you leave a bleeding wound.
    And also, I won't let you in if only to let me leave a scar on yours.
     
    murasaki, Nov 13, 2012
    #88

  10. murasaki M V U

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    a yellow colored WINTER ROSE
    the essence of metaphore

    Otanjoubi omedeto... My Angel of Sanity...

    [​IMG]​
     
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2012
    murasaki, Nov 24, 2012
    #89

  11. murasaki M V U

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    [​IMG]
    love is FRAIL BEAUTIFUL like a snowflake
    생일 축하해

    김준수

    생일 축하해

    Happy birthday 내 아가, my Junsu

    this is my pray to you this year...
    i wish that you will be bless more and more, more love and more happiness
    and even though i know you're super busy with schedules, i hope you could really found someone to be close to
    i hope that your end year concert would be amazing for you and for the fans
    i hope that next year and years ahead you'll be able to show not only the world but also your fellow Korean how amazing you are
    lastly, God please hold 김준수 and family with your soft gentle hands and guide him for everything You will ...Amen

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    Do you know that I love you? Please love me more...
    Yes... more and more and more and more...

    [​IMG]

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    [​IMG]

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    Junsu x Junko

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    [​IMG]

    picture credits as tagged​
     
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2012
    murasaki, Dec 15, 2012
    #90

  12. murasaki M V U

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    THANK U FOR my christmas present
    all i want for christmas is you... ♥​

    First of all...
    I really don't want to remember things in the past month, most of it...
    What I really going to write here just only for the sake of my happiness     :lalala:

    On November 22nd, there was a news about XIA Ballad & Musical Concert with Orchestra
    That scheduled on the end of this year, and scheduled only happen in South Korea.
    The first time I really, really, really, really want to go to Korea it was.
    I threw away my shopping list. Counting and counting my money...
    The ticket price is cheaper than Junsu's concert in June in Jakarta, about half of it.
    Just by looking at how cheap the ticket price is, I became so eager.
    Planning how to get planes ticket, accommodation, and how to get passport and visa in a short amount of time.
    Plane tickets were insanely high price, approximately about 10 millions IDR. I kept insisting, after all it's for Junsu.
    When I'll have the chance to see him singing live with orchestra again? I meant, since Mozart, I really, really, really, really want to see him perform in his musical, where he's singing live. My... my... I can not imagine, if I could had those chances. I'll be in heaven.
    Ok, back to those 10 millions ticket. The cheapest ticket price was surprisingly gonna made me stay there longer. Which mean I'm gonna need more money for the lodging and foods.
    I intently just want to stay there like 2 days. For Arriving at Seoul, about half of a day walking around, enjoying Seoul. And at the night I'll attend the concert. Stay for a night. And the next day going back to Jakarta.
    The cheapest ticket was going at 27 and going back at 31. Made me dream about spending new years in Seoul. How is it gonna be? Imagining to celebrate new year under the same sky with Junsu.
    And when I looking for the cheap hotel, I found a place near the COEX hall with the cheapest price ever about 500. But it's not a hotel or something fancy. It's just a simple room, with a shared bathroom in the outside. After all I just want to stay there for one night.
    These things keeping my hope high...
    The only problem is, I don't have a passport yet. This gonna taking so long to get. I must go back to my home city. But I thought that I still could manage it.
    Until the Visa slammed me back to earth...
    How to get visa to South Korea:
    1. Passport
    2. Visa Form
    3. Self Portrait 4x6 with white background x2
    4. Print out plane ticket
    5. Print out hotel confirmation/voucher
    6. Bank reference letter in English
    7. Personal finance proof - your finance condition in last 3 month
    8. SIUP - if you have a company or something
    9. Invitation letter from Korea (optional)
    10. Sponsor letter from (company that we work for / school we attended to)
    11. Name card (optional)
    12. Photocopy of identity card
    13. Photocopy of family card
    14. Photocopy of birth certificate
    15. Photocopy of marriage certificate (if married)
    16. Salary slip for the last 3 month
    additional things that might get us passed more easily: a letter you wrote about what you planned in Korea.
    If approved, you'll get the visa in 3-7 days of work.

    The blog I red about visa stated that at least you must have at least 50 millions in your bank account.

    . . .

    . . .

    . . .

    _______________THE END_______________

    I want it so bad to watch it...!!!​


    move on...

    So, after I woke up from my devastation, I realize I still have my money, and then I picked up again my shopping list.
    Some of them were already not needed. Like a dress for someone's wedding...
    But, since I laid my eyes on JYJ poster at Tony Moly's I've been wanting to use the one product, what they endorsed.
    But the truth is I don't know what the product name is. I was imagining in my head, what if I asked the girl who worked there, " I want to buy things that JYJ endorsed. Which one is it? " it does funny right?
    So I went there after work hours, in weekdays. Only a couple of costumers in there. I was looking around in every shelf to see if I could found something familiar. And then I saw it at the back, Floria. I read the information card, but still I couldn't understand a bit about that product. So when one of the employee near by, I asked her about it. She's kind enough to explain few things. But unfortunately the product I should use because of my skin condition only left a few kind. But still I bought it. If you buy things with minimal purchase 500, you'll get their member card. I got one, so you'll might know how much I spend that day. It was only in 1 store.
    [​IMG]
    going on...

    I'll continue it later ok? I already feel so sleepy...
    Maybe because of this silent night song that I kept repeating...

    _ _ _ _ _​

    Continued...
    It's not because the silent night song... You know it's because the time, please...

    Get into the christmas present I had...
    Rushing am I?

    My early christmas present was Junsu's new song:


    Junsu gave especially me his fans a christmas gift...
    Sweet, sweet song ♥... Feels like I could dreams holding hands and walking down the street with 내 아가 ^_^

    That was my early gift, because he sent it to me on 24th not 25th :peace:

    What I had on 25th was...
    Just... All I want for Christmas is you...

    I think that this one was a wish from yester year...
    One I didn't had a courage to ask... Or even forgot to post to public...
    But I guess this year, I already stated that on one of my social network...
    So... It did came true
    :malu:

    I still got another 2 fanaccount that need to be done... I'll do that in other 2 separate post...
    I guess that's it...

    -- night almost morning, people... --
     
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2012
    murasaki, Dec 25, 2012
    #91

  13. murasaki M V U

    murasaki
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    one and only one, JUNSU
    missing you...​

    Been so long since the last time I came here...
    But still I don't have much to tell

    This is out of the blue, something I wanna share :hehe:

    Do you remember XIA Junsu 1st Asia Tour Concert in Jakarta,
    which I already told you #75

    It's DVD was realease about a year ago, maybe...
    which I don't know for sure, because I didn't buy it, too expensive, maybe later...

    Recently, the video link has been spread, so I have it now..
    The content of first disk is a recording of full concert in Seoul.
    The second disk is a mix of sketch movie from other countries, one of them was Indonesia.

    These are screenshot I had taken...
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]​

    I can see clearly how bright my lightstick was right there.. :haha:
    I wonder why Junsu looking my way. Because it's so clear bright pink, when the person next to me doesn't light theirs.

    I wish, Junsu could come again, and having another solo concert. :cinta:
    I wish he could have another solo album and start preparing another asia tour concert..

    But, JYJ concert would be good too. #LOL
    I miss him...
     
    murasaki, Mar 10, 2013
    #92

  14. murasaki M V U

    murasaki
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    i love you, ANGEL
    생일 축하 해요

    김준수

    생일 축하 해요

    Happy birthday 내 천사, Junsu..

    Today is your happy day, don't be bother by uncertainty of tomorrow..
    Let's celebrate with everyone in prayer..

    God, please bless this man..
    Junsu, today turn to 28, just from your blessing, he live to the fullest, bringing every happiness for many people
    please keep him in your gentle hands, form him to be as You wanted him to be
    and this is my wishes; give him more love, more happiness, more health, more of your blessing,
    keep him safe in your protection, keep him away from obstruction,
    bless him and his family, so he could made Your Name greatest
    bless him and the December Musical crew, keep them warm with the spirit of Christmas
    bless him and the Year End Concert crew, so they're all going to celebrate end of year in merry, amen..

    [​IMG]
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    [​IMG]​
     
    murasaki, Dec 15, 2013
    #93
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