OriFic Hightime Stories Collection

I really enjoy it. Unfortunately, my skills in English is so bad. So, when I read. I must think twice, understand the grammar and then story.

Unique story, slice of life with some development in character made the story so interested. At the last, I read to improve my skills too. Good job mod

 

thx buat komengnya

moga2 kedepan gw bisa bikin sesuatu yang lebih gampang dimengerti. glad you enjoy it

 

lah endingnya



yasudahlah

 

Spoiler: hoho

yang penting ada development dan konklusi daripada it's only a dream 'kan

 

Noire's Pudding Letter

~ Hyperdimension Neptunia ~

​

Synopsis : Noire sent a letter to Neptune along with a package of pudding.

Genre : Parody

Spoiler: Pudding

The day before yesterday, I saw the ruins of Lastation.

Yesterday I saw a pudding.

..and today, it's you.

You came to eat my pudding. It's not like I hate it.

I got the playful urge to stuff the entire inch of your body with eggplants, but I never got to do it, since that way, I'm afraid you'll hate me.

Even though, I kind of know, you're not really the type to hate on anyone. I still shiver in delight when you squirmed on eggplants at that time.

Say, will you eat an eggplant pudding? But if you don't hate eggplants anymore, I'll run out of things to tease you with.

On the other hand, it seems the more we met up, the more things you seem to tease me about. The more I get mad, the more fun you have. I wish I could do the same, so our feelings will be mutual.

Not just me merely hitting you back because I ran out of things to jab you with. I simply want to get back at you equally for always making fun of me.

Merely about me being a loner.

It's kinda true that I don't have all that many friends. I don't really do small talk, and I don't play games that much since I'm busy helping out on things.

Lending my hand because I want to. Though, I never really got close to them to the point I could freely chat together like good old friends.

Being with you was different, even though you're really annoying and I sometimes wanna take out my stress by punching your face. I have to admit that, uh, it's not all that bad when you're around.

Back then, I felt lonely, but when you came to visit, I got the urge to talk with you many things in my mind. The words, however, wouldn't come out naturally no matter what I tried.

There's a feeling of disappointment, knowing that you'd probably never take my words seriously at all.

When I'm feeling down, I sometimes doubted if you could cheer me up. Since you tend to take things too lightly, I wonder if you actually cared about my problems at all.

I tend to put up a tough front, saying to myself each time--I could do things on my own, though having no one beside me, it pains my heart.

I thought, once or twice, maybe thrice, about the kind of person I want to be with.

They would be caring; they would be understanding; be filled with love and make my days feel much better; paint my heart with colors and the days would be much fun with them around.

At many aspects you seem to be the total opposite of the one I was looking for.

Yet, when you're finally here, it's fun.

I am...happy with you around.

It's not the same when you're not here.

Why?

I don't know. It's not something my mind could answer.

Not especially things I could understand.

I-I'm running out of words to say.

..but, thanks for being with me when I needed you the most, Neptune.

Here's a box filled with chocolate pudding for you.

I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you in person. It's just too embarrassing for me to give it directly, and have you read this embarrassing letter in front of me.

S-stop making fun of me okay? It's not like I hate it however.

I'm just looking forward to the time where we could exchange insults mutually.

Happy eggplants, Neptune.

Xxx​

In the end, Neptune never got to read the letter sent by Noire along with the package of chocolate pudding.

It was Blanc who read it instead—she visited Neptune's place along with Vert for some other stuff (mainly skipping work because they don't feeling like doing their jobs as the CPU).

She noticed the untouched letter beside the pudding box. Something of mischief surged inside her, giving her some weird ideas.

While Vert was trying to urge Neptune to lend her some shoujo-ai games, but Nepnep still wants to look at the erotic CG images at least once a day.

It was resolved by Vert copying the CD Image with a software and brought it with her laptop, so she could burn it to a blank disc and play it anytime she liked.

Why not buy it instead? It seems Vert already bought too much games in the last game sales so she though, why not play one for free once in a while. Screw piracy rules since she's a goddess anyway.

In the meantime, Blanc took the letter with her and posted some parts of it on her blogs. It wasn't explicitly stated that it was written by Noire though.

The title of the blog post was, 'a silly pudding anonymous letter'. Blanc giggled a lot as she reads it, not expecting something of that thing coming from the serious-types such as Noire.

On the other hand, Neptune didn't even know Noire sent the pudding to her. She mainly thought of it as a miracle from the gods of gaming since she managed to clear her backlogs of shoujo-ai games yesterday.

Well, something might change the next time they met up though.

Until next time.

On the other hand, Blanc felt somewhat guilty for taking the letter. She wanted to return the letter, but the pudding package was gone.

So she bought another box—in the end Nepnep gets double the amount.

She still never got to read the letter though.

Though, the next time Noire visited, Nepnep finally noticed the letter and read it aloud in front of her--they argued like usual. Things started to get noisy.

On the sidelines, Compa and IF laughed. They probably thought, both of them look like newlyweds.

...and so IF thought, if both of them actually married, they could expect at least some little bloodshed.

~ Fin ~​

 

lucu sih, cuman yah beda dari ekspektasi awal saat mau baca.

---

kenapa harus beli kalo ada gratisan yah?
bener jg.

 

hahaha ya, mungkin ekspektasi awal kek cerita yg rada serius yah

mungkin bisa dilihat dari genre nya dolo, ini cuman sekedar plesetan aja kok

ya biasa kalo gratisan gw itu lagi gk ada duit tapi pengen main game'e, klo beli juga itu sekedar iseng2 gara2 ada duit tp gk kepake, ya udah ngasih support ke hal2 yg gw demen aja

 

Simply Being​

Synopsis : compilation of various monologues and stuff with the topic of existence and being. Be aware some of them might contain really absurd and explicit things.

Genre : Random

===

Simply Being, Prologue

Spoiler: Prologue

This is an excerpt of a certain man who was, simply put, being alive. Maybe he would still be alive for tomorrow, or maybe he will pass away anytime soon. Fear not, his memory will be preserved within these bounds of text. Even if his soul and body decayed, the memories of him will be deemed eternal as long as this text exists and finally found its way to graze the souls of wandering readers, who managed to stop by, and take their leisurely time to read.

What is the concept of dying? Will our soul simply perish and our consciousness disappear? Will it just went 'poof' and there will be nothing more? How does it feel like, to be put into something filled with nothingness, so contained with void, and so empty without substance? One simply could not understand; it was not something for the living, as they only have to concerns themselves with being alive--simply breathing and sustaining themselves through various methods to make this life somehow bearable.

Certain ones would stack their lives with gold and achievements, etching their name across history. Doing things only few able to and much more, seeking far more than what seems to be everything this life can offer, but was it truly the most important thing? One couldn't know exactly how does a mind think, how does the hearts feel. The emotions incited, the motivations therein. One could know however, what they simply want. Was it simply happiness, or was it something more, something much more?

The excerpt of a certain man who was on the middle path. One part of him wished something more, and the other wished to simply being, simply alive. What comes thereafter wouldn't matter. It's only the present that counts. There is always fear of the inevitable end; being taken to places unknown. Many wild ideas swirling inside the thoughts, most of them were not all that good or pleasant. Many believed that death signifies the beginning of torture, for the living was truly a gruesome torture, destined to prepare for even greater torments.

Some were really afraid of death, the man included. More than anything, he was afraid of pain; a certain extent of excruciating pain. Things that would made him lose his mind; causing permanent damage whatsoever--making him unable to live his life the same way, and would never be happy, or even allowed to be happy because of certain conditions. It's all complicated, having to think about death, that you somehow have no control of, that has no actual definite proof, what happens out there.

One would consult supernatural and metaphysical domain, but some does not want to believe it—some refused to believe It. To the man, it would be most desirable, if the truth of death was something one decided for themselves. Not decided by those popular beliefs and such—but rather, what one would truly believe in. With all their hearts, whole sincerity and faith, that it was something true, something in store for them.

How it would be convenient, if one could die right away when one truly wished for it and with their death, all their burdens would be washed away. The entire world will not miss them and they could just drift away in peace, toward the place they felt like belonging—within the afterlife. A definite place where one would find everlasting pleasure and happiness, or simply, those kind of places they truly yearned for.

If it was that easy to die and a definite way will open, wouldn't every depressed person who gave up on living would resort in such way? We had quite a lot of suicide cases, and to the man's belief, all of them were not beautiful in the slightest. It was terrible; it was cruel; it was like, the kind of worst death imaginable. It was not murder; it was not sickness or old age; it was simply suicide.

One time, the man wished for a safe journey towards the place of his dreams, but the creator denies his request. That's why, until the moment this thing is written, the man was still alive and breathing. The only thing that was kinda unsettling was his stomach problems due to overeating. The rest is fine as fine could be. He led a happy life, and he was on the way of smoothly graduating from the University sooner or later, regardless of various setbacks he had along the way.

Of course, like human beings in general, the man got quite upset and disappointed, seeing that his most sincere wish wouldn't ever come true, at least for the time he would think and contemplate about it. So he tried to reason with all of his own unreasonable but honest demands. If one couldn't simply go to a certain paradise, why not just make use of the remainder of his living time, to create his own personal heaven?

At first, the man was simply being. Not long after, he lost all reason, he simply cease to being. It doesn't take that long for him to regain himself, and finally settle for something much more than just simply being. That these days, and this life, was simply more than what it appears at the first glance. It's much more than simply breathing and doing routine activities like a machine.

In spite of all that, he realized, all of them simply could be reduced into two things. Simply being happy, and simply able to protect this happiness from everything. From himself, from the world, and even the creator itself. He wished to be the rock, that even the creator could not lift. This way, he would not be a puppet anymore, no circumstances of living should dictate how he should live his life, or how he should act his fate. He had torn down his mask, ripped apart his strings, and finally, be reborn as a new entity that seeks new adventure in a new world.

That world is here. That world is now.

This life will be much more than just simply being.

The journey starts here.

 

Simply Being, Chapter 1

Spoiler: Chapter 1

Chapter 1 : Movement

If there's a hole in this world I could crawl in and live for the rest of my life, I would gladly crawl in. I will shout and scream as loudly as possible. Wail like a madman, going on and on, being the wildest me possible. A frozen hole, lost in time. Where everything freezes up the innermost surface. Inside a frozen time, everything would be intact, even the youth; the homeostatic cycle standing still at one point. There was nothing to strive for; nothing to chase. Everything was still as time persists.

I want to question who I am: why am I here, and why do I belong there? I do belong in a place without time, without deadlines or at least--I just want to belong. There's probably no place pleasant where I don't belong. I would like to live anywhere that's so unbelievably pleasant. The one with wealth of happiness pulsing, with little to no things to worry about.

One thing I've known for sure. I like you, I like ***. Maybe, at one way or another, I want to have *** with everyone in this planet but I can't. I'm afraid everything I touch down will be pregnant, even men. While I laughed at the thought of seeing an old man pregnant, and giving birth to a baby alien, I wished for one more thing: that either the baby was healthy or maybe half-dead. Everyone will be dead at one point, and the time will come when one supposedly pressed the kill switch and just flew away like nothing happened.

I did that a lot; I simply recycle something that doesn't really click in with me, that was pretty much broken and could not be used again. Threw things away to make room for another. Yet, nothing actually died; just a malfunction. It simply being taken towards the garbage dump, where it would be relocated again and again. That was, until it will end up in a pile of dump forever or be reused again with a new form. If the cycle of life was like that, maybe things weren't so beautiful at all.

The ugliness of life were somehow compensated by the beauty of sexual intercourse. Some parts of sexual life were so ugly that you want to puke your insides down, but when you're into it, things will become so exciting, you will forget how to differentiate unborn fetuses and rotting old corpse by the time you're aroused enough. I think, the sign of utopia came with arousal. When everyone was engulfed in the feelings of sexual rapture so madly, I believe the world peace will finally come.

Sometimes I believe, the meaning of life comes with sexual intercourse. It Is joyful; it is pleasure; it simply comes where oneself wanting to reach a state known as climax and finally end up in the biggest orgasm possible. How good it is, that after reaching that state, you will die and ascend to the furthest heights of heaven where you will also have *** with everyone? I guess it's a matter of fetish but I know, when it comes to breasts, people could somehow be content.

So maybe, we'll make heaven be filled with breasts. Winged breasts which emitted golden light. We will have house made of breasts too. We eat breasts for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and wear lots of breasts everyday. Sleep on top of breasts, and be showered by breasts each time you went bathing. One thing to note, when you masturbate, it's now called, breast stroke. The same goes when you were doing that kind of swimming too. So it's practically you both masturbate and swim at the same time.

My desire for *** had reached another levels. It simply started as a curiosity of the body of the opposite ***, but now I learned that it's quite common nowadays, for the opposite *** to be lusting for the body of their own ***.

Still, it all started with the curiosity of the opposite *** for me. It began when I was little. I was kind of intrigued when I bathed together with someone, only to find their genitals were different than mine. There's no penis, but I would be more intrigued and excited if they also have a penis in addition of something they already had.

I don't know, I just find it to be quite interesting since it sparks novelty. Well, at times I want to imagine myself to be surrounded by girls with penises. I might find myself In a mixture of being aroused and also wanting to cry. Maybe at one point my butt will be hurting too, but that's another story.

I was basically curious at that time. I was really thrilled to find what's really behind those clothes, or maybe minimal amount of clothing that you barely able to see what's underneath but it still keeps you even more going because its there but its not there too, such ambiguity. At the early stages, I do not know what's really behind it, so when I imagine them stripping their clothes off, there's only white foggy thing covering it, since I do not have the recollection of visual imagery to add to it.

Yeah, basically the thing was about breasts. Still not the other parts beneath the thighs or between the buttocks. Later on, I see the thing commonly known as porn, when I first seen it, to the excitement of hiding my antics from my parents and the further excitement of watching it all at the first time—it made my eyes hot until it's half hurting, but you know, it still kept me going at times. I guess, I still remember the first scenes I watched where two opposite sexes, or sometimes the opposite *** going with it with the ones of the same ***.

There's the thing about the overpopulation of blond hair in the flicks. Or maybe I just remember something about blond hair, especially when the blond hair was quite cute and young, and they also do it with some blond hair that was cute and young too. At times I don't really remember their hair colors. For what I cared, it's all about the breasts. The person might be bald, but it doesn't matter because they got the biggest racks to store an automobile. Maybe you could interpret it sexually too.

Storing an automobile. I guess the breasts were the multifunctional apparatus that's highly effective since the ancient ages.

Perhaps I talked about sexual intercourse and especially breasts too much. I don't know what's up with my irrational attraction to breasts, and not the v*gina. You don't really have *** with breasts, you simply put your thing inside the v*gina. If one would be very attracted to, it's gotta be the v*gina. Why do everyone seem to advertise breasts and not v*gina? I guess it might make sense if we could get breasts pregnant and gave birth from the breasts.

It will be funny though, if I actually seen vaginas everywhere on the tv. At times I might be quite dismayed by the sight of something that was quite a horror for me. It's like, it got gaping holes man, holy shit. Perhaps because there were other things less fitting of a horror movie than a v*gina, people advertise other body parts since face advertisement is getting boring lately and the market needs some variety. So there you go, breast waist hips--you get fried chicken.

Ahem.

To sum it all up, sexual intercourse had shaped the entire society as it is now. I can also derive that it's the same sexual intercourse that cause my came to existence. There is still a doubt within me. If I was born due to sexual intercourse, will I die through sexual intercourse? I found out, that it's not merely due to sexual intercourse that one can be born. There are baby tubes, artificial insemination, cloning, self-slicing (not the ones that were done from being depressed), and many things else.

Even if, somehow, everyone was born through sexual intercourse, it may be foolish for me to assume that everyone dies because of a sexual intercourse. For example, one might have died due to a car accident. Will I be senile enough to interpret it as a form of sexual intercourse? if I am not within my right mind, perhaps. For what I knew, male insects die because of sexual intercourse. The female insect simply ate their mate after ***, so it goes.

So, will every form of death be considered as sexual intercourse? What if, every form of sexual intercourse be considered as death to. For what we knew, as we masturbated, a lot of cells were released out in the open, only to die within the deep recesses of septic tanks. It was the best holocaust ever. I sometimes did it three times a day, so there you have it.

Rather than going in details to explain how I masturbate each day, I'd probably just conclude the entirety of all these gibberish I have been throwing out to you. One reason why we simply being here is ***. Everyone already knows that too. At first, I thought about my inability of being happy because I have so little time and not being in an ideally pleasant environment. Yet, I can somehow kept myself happy because of ***.

In one way or another, you can say that *** is happiness. So be it.

 

Simply Being, Chapter 2

Spoiler: Chapter 2

Chapter 2 : Ideas

It takes only about a minute to come up with an idea, though it needs a lifetime to convince the world that your idea is the right thing. Not exactly a minute, but you can come up with any ideas you want at a short time. Doesn't have to be something complicated, just simply think of an idea. Most likely, it's the kind of idea that's already been accepted, thus it contradicts my saying. As it's practically somewhat impossible for one to come up with an entirely new idea in a matter of minutes.

I guess, you may be so motivated on proving me wrong, didn't you. That's probably why it needs a lifetime to convince yourself and the world, that my idea is right. Well I can convince you, that my idea is not always right. The idea that my idea is not always right will make me right. But I guess I'm too lazy to tell every single person about this idea. Lifetime might not be enough to do so. I guess the main idea was, it may be quite pointless to convince the world that your idea is right.

The only thing you need, is to convince yourself that the idea is right for ya. It may probably be right by others, but not everyone. It might be a pain in the ass to force it to everyone. Well this is already globalization, and people already despised religion enough for you to do this same old stuff. To tell you the truth, I do not particularly like science either, even though it's proven through their methods, doesn't mean that I will believe them if it doesn't click with me.

Maybe, I don't even really like anything. But I can safely say that I love you, will you marry me?

What if I say, just kidding?

I hope you will breathe a sigh of relief. Though sometimes I felt like marrying everyone in this planet and divorce them all the day after. Haha.

Speaking about ideas. I had to fist another v*gina in about eleven days before I finally came to the conclusion, that ideas might either be something that brings the world together or maybe, create wars, conflicts and something of that sort. If that's the case, would it better if there were no ideas at all? Like, they couldn't even come up with something nearly close to an idea? That anyone would just move all in mindless homogeneous unison like bacteria and reproduce by cutting themselves off?

Life's just like that, the entire society packed full of mindless sheep trying to conform with one another irrationally. That's what my mentor used to say. I think me and him were no different though. He just wants me to agree with him, and since I somehow agreed with him, there was something akin to sexual intercourse and both of us felt good. In sexual intercourse, it's quite commonplace to make both parties feel good to achieve the greatest pleasure, or in other words—conformity.

Though, when the other party didn't even agree to your golden ideas, you felt something in your butt hurting deeply. Like there's some prickly rusting object being shoved right into your anus and yeah, it hurts so much your heart starts to bleed, like you're a victim of lulz rape. Though, when one gets used to it, even anal rape would feel gentle, and both parties feeling good would just be something boring. It's more about verbal abuse every day using cucumbers and molten dildos.

Maybe, we're just like bacteria to some extent. I know full well since we tend to pollute every place we've been to. Pollute them with cum, especially. I remember that time we tried cumming at every places, especially the religious ones. We threw our genitals all over the place and the masses turned into something like raging zombies trying to kill us since we somehow defiled their holy castration. Not long after, someone blew up the whole place just for fun and we were like: that was some mass reproduction out there.

We abide by the idea that if we divide someone by half, it would just, you know, result in two offspring. Since they exploded into millions of pieces that way, there'd be overpopulation. They were actually dead though, so our theories that humans were the same as bacteria were proven incorrect. Though both of us came to a conclusion, that just like bacteria, ideas mean nothing much.

It's just something more to insinuate us to perform sexual intercourse with one another, and feel good with each other. It could also be used to hurt ourselves and one another because it might also feel so damn good.
In the end, we assume that philosophers were just someone who think about perverted things too much and deem those as something very intellectual. Of course, since the ideas mean nothing, we would like to say anything we like. If there were god or gods, why wouldn't them have *** with us? If there's anime characters we like, why they wouldn't have intercourse with us? The answer to itself wouldn't really matter. The idea itself wasn't really important too.

The only important thing, was the ones agreeing to our ideas and those that were against it. It's all about making both friends and enemies, and depending on their respective powers, we might either rose to the top or die the most horrible death possible.

Though, once again, when the ideas were made just to agree with most others, the original value of it would be lost. No more expression of aspirations, it's just like simply agreeing with that guy beside you who came out of nowhere just to say something about the weather.

It was also quite impossible for us to understand what people really wanted. Each one of us was different, even though we'd like to act like mindless sheeps. It would be extremely complicated to come up with ideas to bring people together and do our bidding, more so the risk of people disagreeing with it and wanting to cause harm to us just because of what we believe in.

So we thought, it's better to rise to the top without having to gain agreement of most others, so we could still hold the beliefs that were rightfully ours. The result was mass-brainwashing. Since our ego was so big we decided to destroy everyone's individuality to make room for ours. The ones that doesn't agree with us would just disappear, and the ones in our side would abide our orders without objections.

Once we kind of decided not to take things seriously, ordered everyone else to commit suicide—and they finally did it. Now it's just you and me. We also committed suicide together—the world dies just like that—how fragile it would be if that could actually happen. With that glance of thought, we finally realize something very important about ideas.

It wasn't just something to make friends and enemies for.

It was the representation of the people itself, which confirms their existence. With the plethora of ideas clashing and conforming made the world rather stable.

Even if, our ideas weren't that different and unique, by expressing what we believe in, we could confirm we ourselves were alive, at least at that point. It's the ideas that brought us back into living, and sustain it altogether. It could also destroy and kill, but we believe, the balance between its dark and light powers, its what makes this world go around.

Of course, it was coined far before we got to finally think about it. Nevertheless, we definitely learned something new every day.

A new paradigm to look about life, in a different way. Thus, a new world unfolds.

 

Simply Being, Chapter 3

Spoiler: Chapter 3

Chapter 3 : Empty

One certain moment of a time, your days felt so thoroughly empty. There's not a single thing out there that able to break this solitude. You began to wonder, if there's any meaning at all. The answer is : none. There's not a single meaning out there. This life is a joke. Your existence is a complete joke. My existence is a subject of hilarity. However, when one takes a joke seriously, it ceases to be more than just simply a joke. It becomes something else, maybe a peanut butter jelly sandwich.

It came to mind as I tried mind reading by playing games. I was on my way memorizing the certain patterns of cards before challenging a mechanical android in a game of strip poker. I lost every time, so the android practically did a striptease. She was really aroused with my naked body, which was a chimpanzee. My mind was that of a gorilla, and my actual identity was a shellfish. Anyway, I lost at mind reading, since I'm bad at programming languages.

I should have guessed that the first pattern has something to do with Fibonacci numbers. Now I am also bad at math. I was never really good at math. These numbers might mean something about ***, but whatever. Would that number mean something about ***? I guess I know full well that you always say 'yes' to everything. You always do that every time I asked you to commit suicide by hanging your doorbells at the ceiling and put a dinosaur v*gina inside your asshole while farting. Well I'm just kidding, no need to get so mad at every single thing.

Some parts in me, a certain mind wishing me to pray-for-tell everything. I do fortune-telling with cards. When the cards shown directly the name of my v*gina, it will mean you have the best of luck. Otherwise, you will have all the good luck ever was there for you in the world. The name of my v*gina is dingleberry. What is the name of your v*gina? It doesn't have to be an actual v*gina. Mine was actually a plastic v*gina I brought at the nearby locomotive store for about a fist in the neighbor's testicles.

Yes, it's actually a moment where you anal fist yourself everyday using my dingleberry. It doesn't hurt at all. I think, things won't hurt at all because you forget to use a strawberry-flavored condom. I know one thing about your solemn pearl trying to mimic a gratuitous murder using an incredibly slow washing machine. So you put some random people inside the washing machine while watching the entire world flew by. About one hundred million years later, you will become a dinosaur that's able to reflect rain upwards.

I'm three quarters serious. The rest of the quarters will be spent on thinking, what is quarternion? I do not know exactly what a quarternion is. I am too lazy to search for the word at the nearby dictionary since the nearby library becomes a place for angry people to have ***. Meanwhile as I tried buying a dictionary in bookstores people also had *** everywhere in sight. I mean, do people have *** everyday in libraries and bookstores? I have to call the name of my v*gina.

I once went to a ceremonial shrine of some nondescript alien civilization, only to find they simply blank their faces the entire time I was watching, and when the ceremony was over, they simply had *** too. I nearly got raped eleven times. Luckily I managed to sever their genitals using a molten chainsaw. That way I would be able to escape all those goddamn tentacle rape. The last one was a robot so I got to rob all of the gasoline for my chainsaw. Goodbye tentacle rape.

How about the internet? When I browsed the internet, instead of finding the meaning of the word quarternion, I find people having *** in the name of quarternion. So I guess, everything in the internet has something to do with ***. I looked at churches--they also had ***. The church name was Bible Brick. I tried looking at convenience stores, but they only provide *** toys. People could be seen having *** everywhere, even the streets and deep inside your septic tanks. This world is insane; I am insane; you too, are insane.

The author is goddamn insane.

I am here lifeless. I am here, talking to myself. Referring to me as you since nobody listens to me. There's nobody here and I'm simply sitting at the mental asylum. The author made me. Why am I here? Was I here because of a completely bad joke? By a certain madman due to boredom? Who would be so cruel as to subject the fate of their creation to such deplorable malignancy?

On the second thought, would the sight of people having *** everywhere be all that disturbing at all? Maybe not so. At least they didn't murder anyone; they didn't steal; they didn't vandalize anything. They only expressed their mutual love by having ***. There's no rule against having *** whoever, whenever, wherever you want to. There's only some unwritten thing about consensual ***, but when you're feeling good, it's no longer rape, and everyone will force you to feel good until you can't feel anything but feeling good.

So yeah, the hell with consensual ***—it's all about technique.

 

Simply Being, Chapter 4

Spoiler: Chapter 4

Chapter 4 : Dreaming

If I were to name one most exciting thing in life, it's about having dreams. You went to a lot of crazy adventures, and as you woke up, there's this feeling of thrill so intense, unable to be put into words. Of course, not all of dreams were entertaining. Some of them could even be stressful; making you woke up with a feeling of headache and frustration.

At times you really want the dreams to go on forever, as it's truly exciting, though soon you woke up due to a lot of factors added. Alarm clocks, your parents, your siblings, your relatives, your friends, your lover, or it might just be a sudden ejaculation or probably a giant cockroach went dry humping your genitals. In the end, you'd feel so disappointed having to go back to reality. You could even say it sucks or so, but life must go on.

You want the school or work to end soon so you could go back to bed, for the continuation of dream, but your peers made you unable to do so. They want you to be more active, living a productive life. Meaning, doing many favors from them without having any heed to yourself. Needless to say, you would expect some kind of special thing from them since you're doing their own favor, or else you'd feel like you'd just been stupidly turned to mindless slave.

Well, most of it was a part of returning the favor, like, when your parents asking you for a small favor. They already took care of you for so many years without you giving them a reward or something, so they practically had a very enormous amount of favor they could ask you. The similar thing might also be, to your lover. They already gave you one of the best feelings in life, how could you say no? The feeling of this blissful relationship was just so great you can't help but being enslaved by the other party.

It turns out that you must follow them around, doing nothing but window shopping for one of the most meaningless things you thought of, for almost twelve hours. For example, a vintage artificial penis.

You must bear them anyway since it's the one you love and you didn't want to ruin the moments you had with them. With your friends too, they sometimes just barge in at the most unexpected moments and spend your time at your own expense, without minding much about your own issues. Like, they stripped their clothes out of sudden and started to randomly fondle their breasts while spreading their legs or so. You couldn't help but wanting to kick them out since you just want to masturbate to 2D.

So you kick them out and let them have *** with little girls in bear suits in public. End up getting arrested by cops, who also wanted sexual favors before they were finally released. The cops were a big masochist though, so your friend kinda mounted them in wooden horses or so while they just went to the nearby hotel to continue the ***, both girls though so there's no risk of pregnancy, they could just go all out.

I don't know about the relatives thingy, but they might come to you with a lot of other combinations above. There's a lot of other party who would interfere with you spending your free time in so much amount of combinations possible.

For example, the toilet in your room turns out to be a giant v*gina, and as you touch its clit, you were transported into the nearest all-you-can-eat buffet and you have to eat all six thousand chicken fajitas or else you'd be anally raped by two little girls who usually act like raging lesbians. It turns out you have to only eat cucumber while drinking mashed potatoes while just watching everyone have *** in the open because your virginity is just too precious.

In my case, it's just me and my hands, I never found being in a relationship much interesting. I want to stay away from my peers, parents and relatives as much as possible, since I want to keep all my time to myself, and be free to explore my dreams however I can.

They say writing about dreams might help; I even kinda did some series wholly as some sort of journal, plainly describing my dreams in the amount of detail I could remember, though at most part, I couldn't even remember much of it. The feels of it, however, still lingers, albeit growing much faint over time. Nowadays, I summed it up in few words, like: it's exciting, frustrating, scary, happy, sad, lewd, erotic, or nearly wet etc.

Never had wet dreams since like forever; I kinda fapped a lot.

I was kinda feeling too lazy to keep up describing the dreams as it was. Remembering it by writing and describing the details, they say, might one day lead to the mastery of lucid dreaming. You were dreaming, but you were conscious enough to entirely control what's going on.

Like, when you see a beautiful woman with a flowing black hair about shoulder length, wearing a lace lingerie and both of you were inside an amorous bedroom with velvety lightning and stimulating scent wafting all across, her shimmering eyes gazing at you full of longing, the tongues sticking out, moving in circular motion.

Though, you realized it's just a dream anyway, so you might as well make her bald and her face be entirely in pubic hair. The scenery changes to a giant penis monument, with the people around wore nothing but pubic hairs.

Along the way, describing your dreams In detail could also improve a lot of different abilities, by penning and jotting down what happened along it. For example, I remembered one character by the name of Telekinesis Edwire. He could destroy anything using his mind alone. Since his ability was so dangerous, he were confined in the deepest parts of an enclosed confinement chamber. Though there were zombie outbreak coming in and I've been running away avoiding them until I finally able to reach him.

At the moments before, he saved me from being suffocated to death by the enclosed formation of crystals summoned by somebody. A lot of things happened, that was quite chaotic, but it was much easier remembering the dreams I've written rather than those I didn't pen out. Not all of them I did remember, I might have to re-read the dream journal again.

Nowadays though, I didn't really feel like writing out the dreams as it was, things just felt quite tedious since I didn't get to improvise a lot of parts, and it gets more and more forced into just remembering the exact things, not really about creative imagination. The result was also quite boring. So I didn't really do it anymore for long. Yeah, I occasionally wrote them and posted them in a thread, but never into the extent of making a series out of it once more.

My most recent dream was about my uncle describing to me the levels of magic. There's about ten levels. With the higher levels bringing more power, but with the additional risk to the caster, to the point of permanent loss of something precious onto instant death. No matter how skilled the magician might be, there's a great risk involved. On the highest levels, particularly level 10 of magic, it will also result in the creation of a permanent destruction of the environment, known as Hex.

The environment that's corrupted by magic so much nothing could ever grow on it, and it deteriorates anything near it. The removal of hex was possible, but it may take a long time, and with the highest level purification it would cost the lives of quite a number of high-leveled spellcasters as a sacrifice.

Ah yeah, I kinda improvised some parts to make it have more sense. I guess I just do it that way when I penning the dreams again. Works much better for me.

In the end though, I'm not really interested in lucid dreaming. The dreams were exciting since it's truly random and totally unexpected. Well, even though I want to dream about something, it always seem to give me completely different things each time. Focusing on things too much also hinders me from falling asleep, so I'd just gave up on it.

Though, I could sum up, dreams were really exciting. Life was well worth it, because I've got to dream after a hard day's work.

It's truly heavenly when you could dream all you want without getting disturbed by unforeseen factors. Try that out one time.

 

Simply Being, Chapter 5

Spoiler: Chapter 5

Chapter 5 : Apathy

I just bought a can of beer from the nearby convenience store. It had 'Apathy' written on it, with the picture of one-eyed pirate giving out a corny smirk. The can was quite yellowish with green bubble stuff pasted all over the can. Been a while since I got some dose of alcohol. They say, one beer every day makes the frustration go away. Yeah, it might be okay, except my wallet. The safe way to do it was probably just one can every Saturday night. After one can of Apathy, I would sleep the entire night riddled with beer.

Well of course, since my place forbids alcohol, I was like, just brought my bagpack and hid the can of beer in it. Only drank it in my room, and after I was done, I would put the beer inside the plastic bag and dump it at the trash can outside my place, at that nearby convenience store. It's okay, won't look any suspicious. Besides, that can of Apathy was really worth it. Before that I had slept like nearly 12 hours after staying up the night, and before that I had slept from the evening into the night.

A lot of parts in my life, spent sleeping. Not really looking forward to do anything in this waking life. Don't really care about anything anymore. It was all, the signs of apathy I got from drinking Apathy. Wanna sleep my entire life, just hunker down within my world of dreams, where anything of my desires will come true. Where every laws of science and stuff will be denied and turned upside down, just like the kind of world I wanted.

Dreaming upside-down, yeah.

At times I wondered, I never really was so hell-bent on proving myself to others. Most likely, I don't care about this life after all. Let them just be themselves, and let me be in my own world, apart from everything else. In which it had sparked a big question inside me.

Was it really my choice, that I ended up in this world after all? I don't really know. This world ain't so bad though; it's just some of my choice had led me to a lot of predicaments. That's why I wanted to change some of the ways I do things, so it would be much better for me. Yet, I know there's gotta be a better world out there, just laid in store for me.

If that's the case, would it be better if this world ended right away? That nothing more should I be worried about. Things would turn out just fine.

I felt pretty drunk.

I need sleep.

I need to linger in this dream world, for like, forever.

I just want to escape reality, and finally get away from it.

Regardless of this apathy, I felt like, I had caused a lot of trouble to people around me. Sometimes I felt like, they would be much better off without me existing after all. That way it's a mutual gain, I got off to my own ideal world and they could just carry on without me burdening their lives.

Yeah. It would be much better, if I were to disappear. Like, never existing in the first place. Though these words, were one proof that I existed. Still, no one's going to discover it anyway. So it's fine, nothing will change. Nothing will ever change. Myself existing was a joke. There was no freedom, there was never freedom. There was no peace, never been any peace nor harmony.

I never belong here.

So why should I stay any longer?

Xxx​

Out there were words:

“This is your world. You belong here, you will always belong here. You can never run from reality, since the reality is you. The reality is what you think of it. The laws never meant anything in the first place—just a mechanism for people to agree or disagree with one another. Nothing really matters in the first place, this is, just like a huge sandbox.”

“You can shape the world as you will, and this, is your ideal world.”

In the end, nothing really did matter, rather than just simply being. Having a bit of consciousness, but that's it.

As nothing really matters after all, I decided not to do anything and just let the world ramble on. There was no change; the world had always been this way.

I still thought, my own little world was the best.

Regardless what the voices in my heart tells me, I will just continue to do my own thing.

 

Simply Being, Chapter 6

Spoiler: Chapter 6

Chapter 6 : No Ears For You / Unreliant

I remember back then during my school days. There was one teacher who said this. Actually, few teachers had said the similar thing but we've got one who embodies the saying the most. She was a middle-aged teacher who taught us during middle school. As we knew, middle schoolers were the most troublesome bunch due to puberty. Enough of that, the saying was like this:

"We have one mouth but two ears—we are made to listen more, not talk all the time."

Yeah I thought, you're one to talk, teach. If you truly practice what you preach, you will be the one listening to us and our troubles of puberty, since after all, you're a teacher. Instead you went on prattling about the things we would least likely care about. Her lessons were boring and I just hoped it would end soon so I could go home and play games.

She didn't listen to us, so no one in class ever truly paid attention to her. There's one seemingly diligent student who sits up front, but she didn't look like she cared at all—she probably just wanted to snatch the top student title again. Not like it had anything of matter to me—I'm just about average and not looking forward to do my best at all.

I hated school, my parents never listened to me about what I wanted. More like, they never gave me the opportunity to voice my opinions. They went on blabbing all around about what kind of person I should be, and they would be angry if I talked back. They only wanted to hear what they wanted to hear; they only cared about my report cards.

I never really talked much in the class. I was mostly just that one silent fellow who just sat around the back. Never really paid attention to the class much though. Apparently, even with me being silent, I caught the attention of either the teachers or my classmates more often than not. Which was kinda troubling, when I just didn't wanna be noticed at all.

..and that's that.

Because I honestly thought you wouldn't care about reading all of that.

Xxx​

Only listening to what I want to hear, only reading what I wanted to read. Only doing what I wanted to do. By doing that with no compromise, eventually distances begun to form between me and others.

There's no way I'm going to do that at my own expense, where's the reward of it? Can I trust them to give back for what I thought it's worth? No? Get the hell out of here you scum, don't ever ask me to do favors for you!

Wished to listen only what I like, but I don't care about what others liked.

When asked to make something people would like, the hell with it, depends on what I like first. If i can't like it, how am I supposed to make it?

It's all about myself first. No ears for you, what you want doesn't matter at all. You fulfill what I want and you listen to me, then I may consider listening to you. Even after that, I'll only stay so much on the things I have an interest in.

The tendency of being self-centered runs deep within me. It's my own right.

If I didn't care that much about myself, no one else will. No one will listen to me and care about me the way I want to, if I don't rely on myself alone for close comfort.

My parents don't really care about me. They just don't listen to what I want, and I have no things that I would say to them.

No way I'm going to divulge my secrets because they would just judge everything I had. My tastes, my friends and even my personal beliefs. They just wanted to force down everything upon me.

They wanted everything to go their way, and they thought they could tell me everything just because they gave me money.

In the end all that I cared for, was their money, since I have no idea how to do part time work as a middle-schooler. At least, well, I lived alone. They probably won't care if I dropped out of school, I got three big brothers who were doing well, and I'm just a burden.

My brothers always seem to pick on me, I hate them. I wish they could disappear. Or not, I'll just disappear from their lives.

Once in a while, all this pressure made me thought about killing myself. Maybe slitting my wrists and trying to hide it would make me feel pretty much like a victim. That way, I could win the sympathy of others that I was pretty much bullied everywhere. The whole world turning against me, and I was all alone.

..but

I knew full well, no matter how I cried out, nobody would be there. No matter how much I slitted my wrists and people noticed that, no one would ever give me the sympathy and help I needed. They would just urge me to kill myself already and keep making fun of how me trying to express my troubles as being immature, even if I'm just a middle schooler.

In the end, nobody really understands about what I felt.

Nobody cares.

That's why, I never really want to care about them at all.

I wish them all to die slowly and painfully.

Deep down, I just wished there would be somebody that, will listen to me and comfort me. That would made me realize that life wasn't filled with disgusting people everywhere. Though, if there were someone like that, they would probably just became a pushover and be exploited over and over.

I gave up on believing already and completely closed my heart to the people around me.

If I didn't help myself out, they probably just let me rot away and die anyway.

This is, the life out there, which I believe in, and I know it as a fact.

 

Simply Being, Chapter 7

Spoiler: Chapter 7

Chapter 7 : My Life with Video Games

I often thought, why was it so easy to accomplish things in video games, as compared to doing stuff in real life? Well, I knew that games were made for fun, but why couldn't many things be that way too? Things which being least serious, in which you can fool around and do whatever you want—along the way achieving things and getting lots of cool rewards that you can brag about with your friends.

Well, I knew that games weren't always fun; at least when I tried playing with others online. Joined in some random servers, the gameplay wasn't balanced at all and I couldn't even do anything. Some gameplays were fun, but some bits of them were really frustrating it's just, well, made you wanna quit right away.

I was talking about a different kind of game. Things I did enjoy to the fullest. I recently cleared an RPG game which was single-player based. It had lots of cute girls but the gameplay and story were great. The game had a lot of heart to me, and I felt really satisfied, as I played around and got lots of cool rewards for all the effort I put so far.

There I realized, not all games would grant that much fun and satisfaction—it's just about finding the right kind of game for me to play. I wonder, if it's the same thing that works in real life or such—finding the right things to do, similar to looking for the games that clicks with me.

More often than not, I was like, being pushed and pulled around all over by real life stuff; made me feel like I was forced to do things that I don't even like in the slightest, something that were quite far away from what I truly want to do. The pressure from parents and relatives, also the society around me. How some of the people around me were doing or so.

So there goes this saying: if everyone else can do that, why can't you? My answer was simple: I'm not like everyone else. I don't do something because everyone else can. I do something because I want to, and I wished, for the most, to do this from my own motivation, not for the sake of fulfilling things and that just to get by. Maybe there's this desire to stand above people, but I'd rather try things my own way than doing it in a way most believe things will work.

Though, it's not like I delved in totally random. As I played games I referred to lots of guides which can help me around, and I based my decisions, mostly motivated by things I've read in the past. Those self-help, motivational things which taught me to look at the better side. Instead of looking at those that seem to work for most, it taught me to believe in my own ideals, in which, coupled with perseverance and stuff, will make even the most unrealistic things became truth, manifest towards reality.

...and thus, I concluded, that video games and real life might be similar to some extent. One thing I might want to note though, some said that video games rewards the players and doesn't really punish them from losing. I beg to differ, since I knew some games that offer so much frustration if the player did lose. In real life, I also did something which was really fun and was also very rewarding, I feel like doing it again in the near future.

Still, at the start of this chapter, I somehow forgot about it because I was still at loss about what to do, after having so much fun in clearing that one RPG game.

Lesson learnt, that some aspects of games could be implemented to spice up real life stuffs. I'm not sure about the opposite though, being all serious in life and also taking it all onto the games, just playing games only to feel frustrated but you still keep playing it. One thing I know though, games could be a great way to get away from daily life, when you just want to bask in another world.

You know the best thing which made games better? Cheats.

At least in single-player games though. Not everyone would think the same way as I do, those who wants to play games for a challenge and stuff—they're entitled to their opinion. I admit I'm not a good gamer and stuff, with skills and all. I just wanted to have fun the best I can with the lowest amount of learning and effort possible.

When that feeling of frustration arises, you just open up a memory editing software and change it to the value you want; made you bask in triumph as you easily trample upon the enemy. Or just simply getting the tables and went completely overwhelming the other party. The sense of superiority which goes upon it was priceless, unlike any other. It made you feel like a god or something, while at first you felt like a wimp.

Things got really easy, that unfortunately the fun was lost.

Not saying that I cheated all the time though, and there's this thing about powerleveling, grinding and stuff, or even some exploits in which can be used to gain advantage in the game without directly resorting to cheats. Still, even with the ways one could do to have fun, some of the online gaming experiences made you feel somewhat traumatized about playing with others.

There's always this kind of person who enforced others to play game the way they want to. Or they would just sent some message of hate or treat others badly in a way that could be considered insults, in a way that could totally ruin the day. We went to games for different reasons.

Some wanted to just have casual fun and play with others; some wanted be very competitive, no fun allowed, they just want to have the best playing, they diss others without skills, and instead actually trying to taught people in a humane way to better their gameplay, they called out uncivilized words and worst of all, you would be meeting them in certain kinds of games very often.

Not saying everyone was that way though. It's just, these are the kinds of people which made me resigned myself from playing online. It's just not fun anymore with them around. Though, I admit, when I did play rather well online, it made me somehow want to play more, I don't though, since I kind of prefer the stuff about doing whatever I want. Playing with others restricts me a great deal, although when things do work out, it will be very rewarding.

Since it only happens rarely, that's how I kinda quitted.

Ah yeah, back to cheats.

Somehow you thought, how wonderful it would be, if things like that could be applied in real life. You just do some edits to make yourself had infinite money, and could buy any things you want right away. A lot of other things applied so you could got all of the talents you want and maximize it to the point it wasn't humanly possible. Achieved more things than everyone could do, and live your life to the most absurd extent that wouldn't be possible by any realistic means.

Unfortunately, there's no means that I know, that would let me gain advantage as much as cheats in-game did. That's why, I thought, games were better than life.
It would be nice if life itself could be that way, at least with the cheats thingy and I'm able to get away with it, basking in absolute sense of superiority like that. In the end though, life is life and games is games.

I guess, it's because they're similar to some extent, but were actually very different—that they complement each other and made the days I spent, becoming one of the most meaningful experience ever.

Many thanks to video games, and screw you, real life.

From the bottom of my heart, I hope these online gaming bastards burn in the depths of hell though. I really mean it.

Hahaha...

 

Simply Being, Chapter 8

Spoiler: Chapter 8

Chapter 8 : Experience

Let's talk again about some more other boring things you probably not going to read because, hey, it's a diary-like thingy and all stories should be like filled with plots: those actions, dramas, romance, fantasy-ish with plot twists that would be to your liking, since everyone does them so does you too or else I'm going to mock your story because I don't like it and I can't understand it.

Alright, feel free to get the hell out of here if you're that much narrow-minded. I'm also narrow-minded too, so I tell you to get out and never come back again. Well it's not like I need readers like you who wouldn't appreciate the thought and work I've put into things which actually looks like a typical whiny diary entry of an emo teenager kid. Enough of the rant, as not to trouble someone who actually wants to read it because they like it.

I'm about to talk about something called experience. It originally started out from my realization that I'm unable to just learn anything, if I'm not doing it. In the end, even if I did things a lot, my works came pale in comparison to those who actually able to use their brain to study a lot of things. Yet, you know, I kinda thought, even if my stuff are terrible, hey it's the best thing I can do right now, and if I didn't keep doing it, there's no way it's going to keep better.

No matter how much I tried to study and such, not a single one of it is going to enter my mind, and it's very unlikely for me to apply those theories directly. As a direct result, learning feels like a waste of time, if I'm not actually doing the real thing.


Even after writing so much all these years, with the stack of text that piled up a really damn lot, I still haven't got through anything.

There's not really people looking forward to my works, what's worse, I still got insults from time to time when there's no one actually dropping by to read, just you know, it's not really the things people probably would look forward at. You know, well, there's this one Author who told me, if you continue forward, eventually people would just come by to appreciate your work. Well, if sarcasm and mockery was considered appreciation, I don't know what else to say.

The thing is I am not him, and he's not me. What works for one might not work for another. The things I like to read, may be something others hate so much. In the end, I got people trying to force things on me from time to time. Here's my answer: a middle finger. I guess, if they couldn't appreciate the things I want to write, I wouldn't ever write things they want to read. It's mutual, except you know, they got some incentives to make me feel more motivated.

Like a stack of cash or something. Well, since I'm just doing it for free, at least let me feel free to do whatever I want okay. You know, that s the thing. It's not a job, and whenever I accomplished something, it doesn't really feel like I've accomplished much.

Like it's not over yet, the work's going to continue on for all eternity. Yeah, it's fun, and it keeps me coming back, but I kinda felt like, as soon as I got into something much promising, it's very easy to just leave everything I've worked on so far.

To be honest, I don't really know if I'm actually good enough myself, in order to get such promising things. Though I actually felt like, I haven't really been getting the things I deserved. Sometimes I kinda feel like, well there's no law of equivalent exchange, I only see unfairness around.

I worked hard, and they also worked hard. Why the hell they're getting everything and I'm just getting nothing? It's not like their stuff are better than me, not saying that I'm much better than them though. There I noticed something. Well, it's not about talent I think. Me and them are about equal, and I could say that I sometimes had done it in a better way, but were not really rewarded for the amount of work I put in.

Seriously, I really want to just rant the whole day about me not getting any kind of appreciation that I like, in a way I really deserved. I truly do not want to act all mature and cool and all that, I want to be whiny, emotional, immature and hateful as much as I could.

Since there's nobody around, right? Since there's going to be no one out there who would support me right? Even if I do, they just supports me because they like my certain works in the past, they do not support me as a person, not supporting my own beliefs and ideals, so I really have no one with me from the start. Even if that's the case, why am I still writing anyway? It's not like it's going to get me people, and it's not like this thing is going to make myself enough income for me to even eat a single meal.

I think, all of the similar things going on in every single endeavor. All of them seem fruitless. I still haven't accomplished anything much. I guess I had my own reasons. I placed the works in a way that it's very hard to get discovered by others, and I laid fear in the thought of losing my precious time because of people getting around me. I hated having my free time being swept away by being with people, though I also hated being alone too.

Lastly, I guess I really want to say this:

What's your problem with me whining around, you prick? If you don't like it just don't go freakin' read it. You just want to make me feel bad about myself didn't you? You just want to throw shit at me and make it swallow it whole, wouldn't you/ You just like to ruin the days of others with your mockery, do you think I would just chill out and be cool and act all mature like it doesn't matter one bit? Yes, it doesn't really matter, maybe for others, but not for me!

This is the thing in which I wanted to go and become an artist! That when others had taught me to contain my emotions and let it whittle me down away, tearing me apart from the inside, and no matter what I must hold it in for the sake of others, being an artist is different. You can speak all you want, even with all the amount of anger and immaturity. At least that's for me. I like being able to speak about this all free.

I can't give things away for fame because I want to speak things freely as possible, though it's not like I could let this go any longer because speaking my whole mind won't give me money. It's about writing the things people like and would pay for, and I only cared about what I like, and if people hate it, I would just deem them as stupid and thing about them as meaningless. Even if deep inside, things like that would have hurt me to some extent, and I will still remember their words for a really long time.

Though, enough of all that. Even at my current age, I admit I'm just a little kid. A very egoistical, self-centered kid. I hated being an adult or so, with responsibilities and such. Still, I can say this. Being able to say what I really wanted, I guess all those experiences so far are really worth it.

So I can surmise everything about being, is about expressing what you truly felt.

Though, the opposite will always be untrue for me though.

I will never listen to others, ever.

I wish they don't exist, except for my own convenience.

Though for those who have understood me, and have done so much to me in the past. I know that without you guys, I woudln't have come thus far—I wouldn't even exist in the first place.

Thank you.

I'm sorry for all the unpleasant words I've muttered, but I have to let you know—this is who I really am, and I won't restrain my feelings anymore. Before I let everyone know about the real me, I couldn't rest easy and continue my own endeavor any further.

End

 

Simply Being, Extra Chapter

Spoiler: Extra Chapter

Extra Chapter : Deus ex Machina

Alright.

So before I finally end this thing, I have one last thing to write about. I don't know about others but, I have faith and belief in a thing called choices. That one has the full control over the course of life they'd be deciding. If so, at times I'd like to question. Why one didn't seem to choose where he's born, his parents, his abilities and such, but it seems to be pre-determined?

One wants to live an easy life without working hard, why must the world force him to work hard if he didn't want to? Why must the world force oneself to do what they didn't want to do, and force them into not being themselves for the sake of survival? Why was the world like this and not the things they want? Why not just let them decide the kind of life they wanted. Instead of forcing oneself to live a certain set of path, filled with restraints and stuff.

If one didn't want to, just let them be. It's not really their life if they did not end up here based up their own choices. It might be much better if the world never existed in the first place, at least for them. Let the ones staying in this world, only the ones who had made their choice to stay and be there in their own free will, without being forced on anything, and as for us who had made our statement: we didn't belong in this world, were free to decide where we wanna go. Towards another world we think we truly belong in.

That way, everyone would be happy, even those who would be happy seeing everyone else unhappy. Let us depart forth onto the world of our own. Where the days will be filled with happiness and fulfillment.

Along the way, I began to think, if anyone wants the fullest extent of things possible, why didn't they just become the god of their own world? They had complete control of what's going to happen, but of course, it would be tiring for them to decide every single thing, every laws and behaviors of every single particle within their universe.

So I kind of thought, if the gods were actually quite human, they won't concern about the details, and instead there's something else that actually controls the universe, somewhat automated like a machine. Let's call it Deus ex Machina. It governs every single thing so that things would just work as it were, being stable perpetually, for all eternity passing. If that's the case, what would the gods be doing?

I think, they mainly just tinker with something just for their own amusement. Rather giving blessings or disasters, anything could happen. At times the actions of gods would bring forth either festive abundance or complete obliteration. Though fear not, as of every things that were destroyed, there's always an infinite number of things within the universe to be exploited, and even if every kind of possibilities that wished to be taken, had been taken, the gods could just reset the entire universe and start anew.

It would just continue in full circle, with them learning about new and new things, mainly taught by Deus ex Machina. It doesn't just govern the world, but also brought limitless amount of knowledge on how the gods would fester their powers onto its utmost depth.

Each gods had their own universe, and they could not cross another universe to meet the other, it was made so both omnipotent powers would not clash. It can be made as if there's two universes with two gods clashing, but one would be the illusion made by other. With the god's power being able to make an illusion as if reality. As if to make the god able to sustain itself for all eternity, Deus ex Machina grants them both blessing and curse: of unable to destroy themselves or being destroyed by everything. A rock they could not lift was made.

It kind of answered the question of the omnipotence of the gods. It's not about being able to create a rock they could not lift, they must do it, or else their power would destroy themselves, and if they were indeed omnipotent, a mere thought about them destroying themselves would indeed come to fruition, meaning if they couldn't create a rock they could not lift, the world wouldn't have existed in the first place.

The gods could alter how their entire universe work, and Deus ex Machina adjust it towards their liking. Though, as the same with the gods, they couldn't destroy the Deus ex Machina, erasing it from their existence, since it's also the same rock that the gods couldn't even lift. They could stop the machine, and control the parts of the world as if controlling a puppet through strings, making it as if one person was walking through a world where everything's stopped.

If they were uncomfortable being in their throne, they might as well tried manifesting themselves onto a creature within the worlds of their universe. Observing the world up close and personal, but as they were the gods of this world, as much as they tried limiting their power, things would be so much different for them. With their magnitude of powers, all they did best to appear as if they were mere creatures was to pretend, with their power to make illusions reality.

Though, no pain or suffering actually felt, since they already have everything, and also immune to every single thing. Have total control of both space and time, granting it at their disposal. Still, if they're actually quite human and won't stick to nitpick all details—they're not really omniscient.

Maybe after eternity of time passing and they already know so much that they could predict the lifetime of all combinations of universes and the behavior of every single elements in it, as the future past and present all became a child's play to them, things probably weren't exciting anymore. So they might as well told Deus ex Machina again, so they could start over again from the very beginning.

Being an actual mere creature, devoid of their godly powers. There might come a time when they needed those powers again, but they wished to enjoy the mundane life after so many eternities within their own governance. As within that time, the world would be just stable, without the intervention of the gods themselves. Living through the cycles from birth until death, and it will restart again until they felt they had enough, and wished to reclaim their throne once more.

The cycle will just go on and on, with the Deus ex Machina keeping watch forever, never changing, always faithfully governing the world either in the gods' absence or beside them.

Of course, all of this was just a theory. There's no proving that what was written was actually true. If it's true, it might be quite unfair for just one chosen person to actually being a god or something. My wish was for each who wanted to live the way they want, able to become gods and make their own universe, aside from this peculiar world they didn't think they belong in.

After they had satisfied with everything, and had experienced many things in a way that a mere human couldn't, they could just return there, towards a mundane life, based on their own choice. If they erased their memory, and their power also wanes away as they have no knowing about their identity, it becomes impossible to know whether or not they were here based upon their choice.

Though, there's no knowing whether or not one would gain the power of gods, upon them remembering their true self. Probably it doesn't change much, and us humans would still just be mere humans, but even if it's totally untrue, I think, the thought itself was quite intriguing, at least for filling up the past times. In the end, I just hope, that even if I'll just live a mundane life for all eternity, at least I want to make the best use of it.

I may not be able to do much, but I want to be as happy as I can with the little things I can do.

That is my wish, as a mere human.

 

bumping dolo aja, karena ini udah ngilang dari list thread gw

===

Apa Sih Arti Sebuah Gambar?

Genre : entahlah

Synopsis : untuk daftar gambar yang tersedia mungkin bisa dilihat di post ini.

Here

ceritanya tentang dua pengusaha, black ama white. dan white ingin mempelajari rahasia sukses black--mereka bertemu di restoran keluarga. selebihnya mungkin bisa dibaca sendiri. rada2 bau r18 jadi mungkin ya tabahkan hatimu saja kawan.

Spoiler: aaaa

Malam itu aku bertemu seorang kawan dekat. Sebut saja namanya tuan Black. Ia seorang wirausahawan yang terkenal eksentrik. Cara pikirnya sungguh di luar kotak, dan tidak sering juga menghasilkan ide gila yang meski sungguh tidak praktis dan masuk akal, ujung-ujung ternyata efektif juga. Kami janji untuk bertemu di sebuah restoran keluarga, pada sebuah pojokan terpencil dimana pembicaraan rahasia kami tak akan dikuping.

Sebenarnya inti pembicaraan itu tak terlalu penting sih, aku hanya ingin mempelajari cara berpikir tuan Black, yang akhirnya membuat si gila itu menjadi sukses. Aku akan menyediakan beberapa gambar yang sudah ku interpretasikan sendiri artinya, dan aku akan menanyakan pendapatnya lalu berdiskusi mengenai perbedaan tersebut dengannya. Semua itu demi kesuksesan, terutama lantaran usaha bisnisku sedang menurun jauh, sedangkan bisnisnya merangkak naik.

Tuan Black juga terkenal murah hati dalam membantu usaha yang sedang menurun dengan menawarkan pinjaman tanpa bunga. Namun aku lebih ingin meminjam ilmu rahasianya. Ingin sekali aku menjadi seorang kaya raya, jauh melebihi limpahan hartanya saat ini. Dengan penuh antisipasi, aku bergegas menuju restoran, berpakaian rapi, lengkap dengan jas dan dasi. Berpakaian seperti ini membuatku percaya diri.

Ia ternyata sudah berada di dalam. Mengenakan pakaian santai berupa kaos, celana pendek juga sandal jepit. Rata-rata pengunjung berpakaian santai sepertinya—diriku terlihat terpencil dan aneh--terlebih ketika mata para tamu restoran tertuju kearahku--kurasa aku memilih restoran yang salah. Tuan Black melambai ke arahku sambil memencet bel meja, membuat rasa malu bercampur gusarku seakan berlipat ganda.

Sekuat tenaga menahan rasa bergejolak, kucoba berjalan biasa saja agar tak menarik perhatian. Celakanya, saat aku duduk pun, mata sebagian pelanggan tetap tertuju kearahku. Tuan Black, yang meski sukses dan kaya masih berusia 20-an, dengan penampilan layaknya anak muda, menatap ke arahku sambil menyengir.

"Hei, kau, mengapa hari ini berdandan seperti laki-laki? Yang habis pulang kantor pula. Apakah kau ingin menarik para gadis nakal untuk diperangkap dalam cinta lesbian?"

"AKU INI LAKI-LAKI TAHU!"

"Bukankah kau ini sebenarnya wanita berpenis? Kau kemanakan payudaramu--menjualnya di internet?"

"Perkataanmu sungguh tidak sopan, tuan Black. Tolonglah, untuk saat ini saja."

"Ya, ya. Aku hanya bercanda. Kau tahu aku secara dekat 'kan, apabila aku benar menyatakan hal ini pada seorang wanita, aku sudah pasti akan ditampar sebelum aku menyatakan kalimat kedua."

"Kau ini bodoh sekali."

"Terima kasih."

Hal inilah yang membuatku sungguh enggan untuk bertemu dan bercakap dengan tuan Black, tapi meski demikian, aku bertemu dengannya lebih sering dari yang kuinginkan. Entah mengapa, pada kesempatan dimana aku butuh bantuan, ia selalu ada dan menawarkan pertolongan paling tepat.

Sungguh menyebalkan.

"Hei, Black. Tentang percakapan tadi..."

"Sudah, kau lakukan di tempatku saja, kau terlalu menarik perhatian di tempat ini. Bila ingin percakapan rahasia yang tak ketahuan, kau harusnya berpakaian seperti wanita saja."

"Apakah aku begitu terlihat seperti wanita di depanmu?"

"Ya, mungkin saja. Tapi tenang saja kok, aku tidak semesum itu."

"Aku tahu kau saat ini memikirkan hal yang tidak-tidak."

"Ya, kau tahu aku. Karena itu, di sini kita pesan makan saja, lalu pergi ke tempatku. Aku parkir mobilku di dekat sini. Supirku cukup sabar menunggu, tapi aku tak ingin buat dia jengah.

Di apartemenku ada club house dan tempat biliar. Ia sudah bekerja keras sebulan ini membawaku kesana-kemari, aku ingin beri liburan khusus untuknya malam ini. Kau dapat bermalam juga di sini, besok supirku bisa mengantar balik ke tempatmu."

"Dasar homo."

"Aku tak ada udang di balik batu, tenang saja. Lagian melihatmu saat ini, tidak ada yang akan anggap diriku gay, bukan begitu? Apakah kau tak pernah mengaca depan cermin?"

Aku datang ke sini, mengarungi macetnya kota ini naik bus, menunggu berapa lama hingga sampai di tempat—itupun ditambah jalan kaki. Alhasil, meski berangkat dua jam lebih awal, aku telat setengah jam dari waktu yang dijanjikan. Tuan Black tetap sabar menunggu, mungkinkah diam-diam ia ada sesuatu di balik semua itu?

"Ya, aku selalu berkaca guna memastikan pakaianku tertata rapi."

"Apakah kau sering onani depan cermin?"

"...aku sungguh ingin memukulmu, Black."

"Maaf, tapi bila aku jadi kau, aku akan sering melakukan hal itu, terlebih jika ada gadis cantik yang menonton."

"Kau tahu, percakapan ini dapat membuat kita dipenjara lantaran menebar aura mesum bagi anak kecil dekat sini."

"White, kau ini terlalu serius memikirkan orang lain. Semenjak kapankah, terakhir kali kau melakukan sesuatu untuk dirimu sendiri?"

"Semenjak sekarang, aku ingin bercakap tentang hal itu agar bisnisku dapat lebih sukses."

"Ehem...."

Tuan Black berdeham sejenak, menoleh pada seorang pelayan wanita yang membawa nampan besar ke arah kami sambil menahan tawa geli. Ia menatap sang pelayan dengan pandangan yang berbahaya. Sepertinya hal yang tak diinginkan akan terjadi.

"Nona."

"Ada yang bisa saya bantu?" sang pelayan tersipu sejenak.

"Bentuk dan ukuran payudara Anda sungguh menawan."

"Ah, terima kasih." wajah sang pelayan jadi merah merona.

Percakapan ini mulai mengarah cukup aneh. Tapi bila dilihat pelayan ini mukanya manis juga, dan ia memiliki fisik yang bagus layaknya model, tanpa adanya tanda-tanda suka memuntahkan makanan sisa. Aku setidaknya setuju dengan tuan Black tentang hal ini.

"Hei, dengan payudara seperti itu, bayi nona pasti akan sehat. Jika nona hasilkan susu sebanyak satu galon, aku ingin membeli setengah---aduh!"

Secara refleks aku menjitak kepalanya. Dasar kau, sudah mengidap homo ternyata kau buaya darat juga.

Si pelayan wanita hanya berbisik kepada kami berdua

"Sebenarnya aku ini laki-laki sih, penisku sepanjang duapuluh senti. Aku punya istri dan anak, dan payudara ini cuma silikon belaka. Maaf mengecewakan ya...tapi terima kasih atas pujiannya...."

"Wow, luar biasa." sahut tuan Black kagum, sembari bertepuk tangan perlahan, lalu ia menambahkan, "...tapi kadang-kadang bisa menghasilkan susu juga 'kan?"

"Bagaimana ya....pertanyaan ini sungguh memalukan untuk dijawab....mungkin ya....kadang-kadang."

"Luar biasa. Luar biasa. Luar biasa----aww!"

Tangan ini kembali melayang secara refleks.

Seperti tak mengindahkan kalimat terakhir tuan Black, si pelayan dengan cepat berjalan meninggalkan meja kami. Dengan semampu mungkin mencoba menyembunyikan sesuatu benda besar yang menyembul di sela roknya.

..dan jika tidak salah, kulihat seorang gadis berpakaian anggun yang tempat duduknya tak jauh dariku, pada keningnya tumbuh penis kira-kira sepanjang limabelas senti, dan pada pria yang duduk di depannya tumbuh v*gina yang cukup lebar. Mereka lalu membenturkan kening satu-sama lain--sayup-sayup terdengar suara rintihan anjing laut.

Entah mengapa, aku tak tahu harus bereaksi seperti apa. Sudahlah, anggap imajinasi saja.

"Kau ini mesum sekali, Black. Aku jadi tambah was-was lagi untuk nanti."

"Sudah kubilang aku ini bukan homo. Kau juga sebenarnya tertarik akan hal itu 'kan?"

"Tidak sama dengan kegilaanmu."

"Ah ya sudahlah, mari kita makan. Aku sudah sangat lapar."

Karena terlalu sebal akan perkataan tuan Black, aku sungguh lupa untuk memesan makanan dan minuman untukku sendiri. Setelah nampan itu terbuka, aku jadi sungguh, benar menyesal.

Yang terlihat di atasnya adalah bayi manusia yang telah dipanggang secara bbq. Bersama sup dan mi goreng, terbuat dari plasenta bayi, bersama sup dan jeroan-- juga terbuat dari bayi.

Celakanya lagi, aku melahap segala santapan itu seakan aku benar-benar sedang kelaparan. Tuan Black serasa acuh tak acuh dan makan saja layaknya menu normal. Namun, saat aku melihat dirinya melahap kepala sebuah jabang bayi panggang, yang menyebabkan kepala tersebut pecah berantakan, dan aku kemudian melakukan hal serupa, aku jadi sadar....

Bahwa aku mungkin ketularan penyakit gila nya tuan Black. Lebih gilanya lagi, mengapa restoran yang kupesan secara acak ternyata menyediakan bayi dengan cah bermacam-macam? Sungguh terlalu.

..dan tahu begitu malah kumakan juga.

Ya, jujur rasanya lezat sih.

Xxx​

Berjalan ke luar restoran diliputi rasa bersalah juga kenikmatan tiada tara, aku melihat seorang yang sungguh mabuk, ia sampai membuat mahakarya grafitti dengan muntahan yang memenuhi sekitar lapangan parkir. Saat aku melihatnya, ia masih muntah juga, dan secara tidak beres terlihat cukup senang melakukan hal tersebut.

"Hei, itu dia supirku." ujar tuan Black

Apakah kita benar akan baik-baik saja?

Rasa khawatirku tidak bertahan lama. Meski supir itu sungguh mabuk, ia sungguh stabil ketika menyetir. Aku agak merasa aneh dengan wajahnya. Mukanya rata total tanpa rambut ataupun kumis—mata dan hidung pun tidak ada.Wajah hanya mulut--kulitnya putih albino.

Setidaknya ya, meski si supir agak aneh, ia bukan orang jahat, hanya gila saja. Mobil melaju sekitar 60 km / jam pada jalan malam hari, diterangi deretan lampu kota dan pancaran cahaya yang terpantul dari danau di samping kiri-kanan jalan. Pada kejauhan terlihat formasi bangunan pencakar langit dihiasi lampu beraneka warna.

"Di sana banyak tempat prostitusi, hiburan malam dan kasino. Tenang saja, mafia di sana baik-baik kok. Tidak pelit bila diajak berbisnis. Aku sendiri ada kerja sama dengan mereka untuk bisnis baru."

...berbisnis dengan mafia? Mungkin tuan Black memang sudah gila.

"Bisnis macam apa?"

"Jual-beli alat kelamin. Dari bahan sintetik bebas penyakit, sekarang jamannya teknologi."

"Hah...."

"Aku juga menual payudara ukuran G, makanya beli sana, aku akan memberimu diskon----"

"Harus kubilang berapa kali, kalau aku ini..."

"Hanya bercanda."

"Dasar sinting."

Selain cukup gila dalam berbisnis, ternyata ia merambah dunia hitam juga. Pas sekali dengan namanya, Black. Kurasa akan kutemukan kegilaan yang lebih lagi, mungkin dapat buat diriku sampai pingsan.

Untuk beberapa saat, perjalanan cukup sepi, sampai sekonyong-konyong terdengar suatu benda yang pecah berantakan di jalan. Ada apa ini, apakah mobil itu melindas botol? Si supir memundurkan mobil sejenak lalu turun. Aku dan tuan Black yang penasaran juga memutuskan turun juga.

"Oh, sepertinya kita lupakan saja segala yang terjadi." bisik tuan Black padaku

Ternyata yang terlindas tadi adalah seorang polisi yang tengah tidur di tepi jalan. Kepalanya pecah berkeping-keping dan tubuhnya remuk total. Namun si supir malah membuka celana lalu menancapkan alat kelamin pada bagian kepala yang pecah di mayat polisi itu. Sintingnya lagi, ternyata cukup banyak tubuh yang tidur berderetan di tepi jalan. Ya tentu saja, si sopir melindas semuanya, tapi yang ia tancapkan alat kelamin hanya mayat si polisi seorang.

Ya sudahlah, lupakan saja hal tersebut, aku sungguh ingin lupakan hal itu.

Xxx​

Setelah melindas beberapa nyawa tak bersalah (atau setidaknya belum dicek oleh pengadilan) akhirnya kami telah sampai pada apartemen kediaman tuan Black. Si sopir memarkir mobil dekat pintu masuk, lalu bergegas pergi entah ke mana.

"Ia hanya ingin bersenang-senang. Sudah biarkan saja."

"Aku jadi was-was membayangkan caranya bersenang-senang."

"Kau ini terlalu banyak mengurusi orang lain, padahal mereka 'kan juga akhirnya tidak peduli akan dirimu."

"Berisik."

"Hahahahaha..."

Tempat ini berupa gedung bertingkat yang memanjang hingga langit. Dengan kelap kelip lampu dan juga desain yang terlihat mewah dan futuristik. Bagian interior membuat aku serasa masuk dalam adegan film fiksi-ilmiah, serba putih bersih dan ada banyak peralatan dengan tingkatan teknologi yang tak kubayangkan sebelumnya.

Seperti robot resepsionis yang tengah onani tanpa mengindahkan dua orang pengunjung yang baru saja lewat. Setelah dilihat sejenak, robot itu terlihat layaknya karakter gadis anime yang tengah haus cinta.

"Robot itu senang bila ada yang menontonnya, namun jangan kau masukkan penismu ke dalam lubangnya, bisa jadi hal tersebut langsung putus. Tapi jangan khawatir, kau dapat membeli gantinya di tokoku---"

"Di mana kamarmu?"

"Pertanyaan yang agresif sekali."

"Aku tidak suka menunggu terlalu lama untuk hal ini."

"Bagaimana jika aku bilang, bahwa aku ternyata seorang loli yang ternyata juga monster tentakel, dan aku suka melakukan hal itu dengan lembut?"

"Apa kau lupa minum obat, ataukah aku harus memukulmu lagi---"

"Ahahaha...tidak terima kasih. Oke, mari kubawa ke kamarku."

"Lantai paling atas?"

"Bukan, di bawah tanah."

"Ughh...."

Kamar bawah tanah? Rasanya hal ini menjadi semakin mengerikan saja...

"Bila kau tahu wujud asliku nanti, tolong jangan terlalu bernafsu ya?"

"HARUSNYA AKU YANG BILANG ITU PADAMU, BODOH! KAU INI DARI TADI BICARA SEPUTAR HAL-HAL MESUM MELULU!"

Aku meraung saat kami sedang naik lift menuju lantai bawah. Saat itu lift sedang berada pada lantai B50. Kamarnya berada di B69. Terdapat sekitar 100 lantai untuk bawah tanah dan 200 lantai di atas tanah.

"...tapi sebenarnya kau menikmati pembicaraan mesum tadi bukan?"

Aku meninju perutnya dengan keras.

"......ouggghhhh......aku ini sungguh seekor loli, tolong jangan perlakukan aku seperti itu."

Semakin lama aku merasa semakin gila. Aku mulai berpikir bahwa mungkin sebaiknya aku berusaha dengan kemampuanku sendiri saja, tak apalah bangkrut, akan kugunakan pengalaman itu sebagai cambuk bagiku sukses di masa depan. Aku tak mau lagi berurusan dengannya. Aku sudah terlalu banyak mengandalkan tuan Black untuk segala sesuatu, dan mungkin gara-gara inilah bisnisku jadi hancur.

Saat kami telah sampai di lantai B69, aku berkata pada tuan Black.

"Hei, setelah kupikir lagi, mungkin lebih baik aku pulang saja. Taksi masih ada malam-malam begini. Aku dapat mengatasi masalah bisnisku seorang diri."

"Di daerah sini tidak ada lagi. Baru-baru ini ada larangan taksi lantaran banyak terdapat penculikan loli dengan taksi. Ah...sial--"

Aku mencium bau hangus, dan seketika aku melihat tuan Black menyusut. Pakaian ia kenakan menjadi begitu longgar—yang ada depanku kini hanya seekor loli dengan rambut hitam panjang yang menyentuh lantai.

"Ah...aku ketahuan."

"Aku jadi tambah ingin pulang."

"Hei! Kau ingin meninggalkan loli ini sendirian di rumah? Kau tak khawatir akan terjadi hal-hal buruk padaku nanti?"

"Yang ada penculik loli itu takut denganmu tahu."

"Uuu....."

"Ya sudahlah. Aku sudah capek juga. Aku ingin mandi air hangat lalu tidur nyenyak."

"Bagaimana tentang pembicaraan itu?"

"Besok pagi saja."

"Tapi besok pagi aku sudah harus ke kantor."

"Ah, ternyata kau rajin juga ya."

"Bukan, aku hanya ingin onani pagi-pagi di sana."

".......meski tubuhmu saat ini loli aku tetap jadi ingin memukulmu."

"Hahahaha...."

Tak terasa percakapan di lift itu memakan waktu cukup lama, dan pintu lift tetap tertutup selama pembicaraan itu berlangsung. Ternyata memang pintu tak terbuka otomatis dan deretan lorong kamar sungguh sepi pada jam tersebut. Aku mengecek telepon genggamku, sekarang sekitar dini hari.

Aku sungguh ingin tidur, tapi kesempatan mendiskusikan gambar tersebut mungkin tak akan datang lagi. Berjalan bersama loli Black, yang mengenakan pakaian super kedodoran, tak lama aku sampai pada kamarnya. Aku mengangkat tubuh kecilnya agar tangannya sampai pada tempat gesek kartu. Terdengar bunyi 'beep' pelan, kemudian kunci pintu terbuka. Berbeda dengan kesan futuristik lantai atas, suasana lantai bawah mungkin seperti apartemen pada umumnya. Lebih seperti gaya berapa puluh tahun lalu, ya, agak retro.

Kamar loli Black ternyata jauh lebih normal dari yang kukira. Aku serasa melihat cerminan kamarku sendiri.

"Aku tak mau buat kau menunggu lama. Aku akan ganti baju sejenak, yang lebih nyaman. Mari kita bercakap setelahnya."

Ternyata loli Black lebih membuat nyaman, gaya bicaranya juga lebih sopan. Terlebih ia sungguh lucu dan menggemaskan. Aku benar-benar lebih menyukai loli Black ketimbang Black yang biasa. Tapi yah, kesan pertamaku langsung buyar ketika aku membicarakan hal penting itu padanya.

Aku memberikan delapan buah gambar yang kudapat dari internet. Mencetaknya lewat printer pribadi. Kusodorkan gambar tersebut pada loli Black, yang sekarang mengenakan kaus beruang dan celana pendek karet untuk anak-anak.

"Ceritanya sih begini, aku tengah mencari beberapa gambar yang dapat diinterpretasikan dalam banyak perspektif. Aku sebenarnya cukup penasaran mengapa bisnismu bisa begitu sukses---"

"Ya, peduli amat sih masalah itu. Aku 'kan loli. Kalau kau menggunakan wujud aslimu sebagai seorang kakak cantik dengan payudara ukuran G, mungkin bisnismu akan jadi jauh lebih sukses dan aku jadi mau menikah denganmu karena aku seorang lesb---aduh..."

Secara refleks aku menjitaknya lagi, ia terlihat agak kesakitan, tapi diam-diam aku melihatnya tersenyum bahagia—sungguh aneh, dan mengerikan.

"Jangan kebanyakan ganti topik. Kita sudah lewat 2000 kata dan cerita masih belum selesai saja."

"....ya baiklah....tolong jangan memukulku terus dong...."

"Maafkan aku. Tapi ya, aku sekali-kali ingin pembicaraan yang agak serius."

"Aku akan memberikan pendapat yang jujur, White. Tapi mungkin sebagian besar sama sekali tidak serius. Bila demikian, kau masih tetap ingin memaksakan agar pendapatku serius begitu?"

Pemandangan loli Black yang mengambek ternyata asyik juga ditonton.

"Oke, otakku tengah jenuh mendengar becandaan saat aku tak siap. Sekarang, becandalah sesuka hati."

"Aku tidak becanda! Pendapatku nanti adalah curahan sepenuhnya dalam hati paling dalam!"

Gambar pertama:

Seorang gadis menarik lengan baju si pria muda. Wajahnya terlihat kesepian. Bagiku terlihat seperti cerita kakak-adik yang mulai terpisahkan lantaran si kakak mulai menempuh studi di luar kota ataupun sudah lulus dan sekarang mulai bekerja. Mereka telah begitu dekat semenjak kecil, dan pernah memutuskan untuk menikah saat mereka beranjak dewasa. Dengan orangtua yang jarang pulang lantaran sibuk kerja, praktis mereka berdua menyokong satu sama lain.

Inilah kisah tentang si gadis yang akhirnya menyadari perasaan ia sendiri akan kakaknya yang mungkin akan pergi, dan tak akan pernah kembali.

"Rasanya seperti plot anime saja." celoteh loli Black

"Ya itu menurutku saja sih, menurutmu bagaimana?"

"Aku sebenarnya lebih ingin kalau si adik itu nantinya jadi lesbian. Tampangnya sendiri sangat mendukung para tante senang pecinta gadis muda. Beberapa dari mereka masih begitu menawan di usia itu sekalipun. Atau si kakak ternyata pergi ke luar negeri untuk suntik-suntikan dan pas balik mereka jadi seperti sepasang gadis yang dimabuk asmara. Ya, kalau ada yang dipotong atau tidak sebenarnya tidak masalah sih."

".....kau ini, imajinasimu liar sekali..."

"Atau untuk lebih normalnya, si kakak punya hobi aneh yang tidak bisa ia katakan pada si adik karena mungkin dapat mencemarkan pikirannya. Seperti, ya si kakak suka memakai baju wanita dan onani depan cermin, atau melakukan cosplay seksi karakter favoritnya dan melakukan banyak hal. Sampai menjadi cukup terkenal di internet dan karena uangnya tidak cukup, maka ia bekerja di maid cafe—tidak ada yang tahu ia ternyata laki-laki.

Akhirnya si adik kebetulan jadi bekerja juga pada tempat yang sama, tanpa menyadari bahwa gadis lucu yang suka cosplay itu ternyata kakaknya sendiri, yang dengan begitu takutnya mencoba menyembunyikan identitas asli. Ya, akhirnya hobi anehnya ketahuan juga, dan si adik jadi ikut-ikutan cosplay bersama."

".....aneh juga, tapi hal tersebut terdengar lebih masuk akal."

Gambar Kedua:

Deretan pria kekar dan tampan tengah balapan sepeda.....

Aku dan loli Black seakan menjawab bersamaan.

"Plot anime homo."

...kemudian lanjut pada gambar ketiga.

"Tunggu dulu, White."

"Ada apa lagi, bukannya kita sudah lanjut?"

"Apakah itu akan menjadi lebih menarik jika yang balapan itu deretan gadis cantik dengan payudara yang besar?"

"Kau ini, sepertinya begitu tertarik akan ukuran payudara. Ya, sebenarnya hal tentang gadis lucu melakukan hal-hal lucu tidak akan selalu bekerja."

"Bagaimana jika mereka balapan dengan naik monster tentakel yang ternyata juga loli?"

"Mungkin bakal menarik, namun pasti tidak lulus sensor."

"...kecuali pendapatan dari pre-order jadi selangit."

"Ah...iya juga ya."

Gambar ketiga:

Sekumpulan loli tengah bersenang-senang di pantai bersama seorang om-om.

"Kita berdua tahu jelas akan kemana plot anime seperti ini." sahut loli Black

"Ya, kalau kau yang ada di posisi si om, itulah yang akan kau lakukan. Aku tidak membaca komik P*rn* sebanyak kau, jadi aku tak bisa membayangkan apa-apa."

Gambar keempat:

Pemandangan romantis di musim gugur. Seekor gadis cantik berambut pirang tengah duduk sendirian di bangku taman.

"Apakah ini ia akan menunggu gadis lain dan mereka berciuman di taman tersebut, lalu pindah ke apartemen sang gadis untuk melanjutkan api bunga lili?"

".....terserah kau lah."

Gambar kelima:

Tentang seorang cosplayer cantik yang sedang berpose untuk majalah kapal perang.

"Aku ingin versi dimana kedua gadis bercinta di tengah medan perang."

"Ya...dalam imajinasimu sendiri saja ya."

Gambar keenam:

Lukisan surreal yang diabadikan dalam bentuk foto. Mengenang kepunahan panda di negeri timur.

"White, aku pernah berpikir, apakah panda menggunakan vibrator yang terbuat dari bambu saat mereka berhubungan s*ks?"

"Mana kutahu."

Gambar ketujuh:

Pemandangan sungai dekat sekolah dan jembatan. Sepertinya cocok untuk pemandangan dua teman masa kecil yang dekat, dan mereka biasa menghabiskan waktu bersama. Tak lama kemudian mereka akan lulus sekolah menengah dan pergi ke luar negeri, masing-masing negara berbeda. Pertemuan di tempat ini setelah kelulusan membuat mereka saling berpisah dengan air mata yang bercucur tiada henti.

"....perpisahan kedua pria kekar berhati melankolis, yang menjalin romantisme platonik ya....'

"Kau ngomong apa sih Black."

Gambar kedelapan:

Roti yang berbentuk seperti penis. Aku tidak mengerti hal apapun dari gambar itu, tapi pasti loli Black akan mengatakan hal-hal mesum lagi.

"....akan ada agama baru." bisik loli Black pelan, "...bila mereka makan roti itu, mereka akan menjadi manusia domba, dan---"

"Hei! Hei! Hei! Hentikan itu, memang tidak mesum, tapi 'kan..."

"Ya aku tahu, aku ingin bersikap sedikit tengil saja."

"Kita bisa dicekal gara-gara perkataanmu tadi tahu."

"...tenang saja kok, setidaknya aku tidak membuat domba tersebut membawa bom---"

"Kau sebenarnya sudah bosan hidup ya?"

"Karena kau tidak ingin memberiku kehangatan dengan wujud aslimu, White."

"Ah...kau ini menyebalkan sekali."

Akhir kata, aku tidak mendapatkan apa-apa dari diskusi dengannya. Malah, aku jadi sungguh merasa letih. Tidak terjadi apa-apa malam itu. Keesokan harinya Black kembali ke wujud yang biasa kulihat, wujud tuan Black. Kemarin ia tidur di sofa dengan wujud loli, dan sekarang ia kembali lagi.

"Omong-omong, Black...tolong jawab serius, sebenarnya apa sih rahasiamu dapat begitu sukses dalam bisnismu?"

"Hal itu tidak penting, White. Pagi ini aku hanya ingin menghabiskan koleksi video favoritku di kantor. Ya, sampai jumpa kembali. Selamat bersenang-senang ditempatku, tapi jangan lupa kembalikan kartu kamarku ke resepsionis bila kau ingin pulang. Sopirku mungkin ada agak siangan, atau kau bisa jalan sedikit lalu naik bus ataupun taksi."

Ia terdengar sibuk sekali.

"....meski kau ini sungguh sulit diajak bercanda, ketahuilah, bila kau butuh bantuan, panggil saja aku."

"Hei Black, seperti yang kubilang tadi, aku ingin rahasia---"

"Aku sudah mengatakan hal tersebut secara tersirat padamu berkali-kali, White. Akan kukatakan satu hal: kau terlalu banyak mengurusi orang lain, sesekali cobalah kau lakukan hal untuk dirimu sendiri saja."

Dengan santai ia bergegas ke kantornya, meninggalkanku di tempatnya seorang diri.

Ah....rasanya malas sekali. Lebih baik aku tidur seharian saja.

.....

...........

....................

Setelah tidur cukup lama di tempatnya, aku serasa mendapat sebuah ide brilian.

"Terima kasih, Black."

Memang, gambar-gambar tersebut tidak memiliki arti apapun, namun setidaknya aku mendapatkan sesuatu yang sungguh kubutuhkan.

Pada sore hari itu, aku kembali ke tempatku naik bus, bersiap untuk melakukan revolusi pada bisnisku.

Kau lihat saja, Black, aku juga bisa menjadi lebih sukses dari padamu.

~ Fin ~​

 

Kingdom of Jarate

(Team Fortress 2)


​

Synopsis : Shenanigans that happened during Sniper's quest to get Bonk Atomic Punch and Sandvich, along with the bloody aftermath. Contains quite a lot in-game references.

Spoiler: The Story

We had one of these days where we felt really hungry and thirsty. That happened one day when Sniper was feeling up to a fizzy can of soda.

"Scout."

"Yeah?"

"Gimme dat bloody cola."

"No!"

Scout finally agrees to give to Sniper after he traded him a piece of scrap metal. In which Scout could use to get two cans of different cola, because when you drink one, it only took about several seconds for it to fill up. That cola in particular which Sniper got was the Bonk Atomic Punch.

Sniper pulled out the cola lid and took a drink; it made him real high to the point he couldn't feel any pain while walking to a stray BLU sentry gun. Though, after few seconds had passed—Sniper was shot dead.

This peculiar place where all shenanigans happened was 2fort. After he's dead, the map changed to Sawmill. He kinda did go afk and talked to the admin about that stray BLU sentry gun.

The admin said, "It was a server plugin." in which made Sniper argue with him for quite a while until the admin decides to mute Sniper. After quite a while observing the roster through spectator mode, a number of people had joined. RED and BLU were dancing along until they reached RED base.

Engineers building teleporter and dispensers near the saw, so the people who took their teleporter would die from the saw. Soldiers doing suicide taunt in the spawn, and quite a number of Hoovies tossing sandvich around each other on that ramp near RED base. Not to mention, people intentionally killing themselves repeatedly by walking or jumping to the saw. Well, nobody was actually trying to achieve the objective. It was just a friendly server.

Sniper observed a Gibus Engineer trying to build teleporters to the sawmill, and get his teleporter repeatedly destroyed by Gibus Force-a-nature Scouts, not to mention get killed even if he didn't actually fight back. The admin thought it was quite amusing, but when the Scout started attacking the players with hats, he insta-kicked him.

Amidst the rave of dancing and taunts, Sniper's focus shifted back to the Hoovies and their tasty meal. As the only player slot available was on RED, he joined RED. As he exited the spawn, he found BLU soldiers repeatedly shooting him with Rocket Jumper, which dealt no damage at all. That, and those who wanted to smack him with a shovel from above.

Since that annoyed him a bit, he entered the spawn and exited back to the upper ramp, in which hoovies crouched by, facing one another. In that place, the BLU Soldiers left them alone. Since they finally knew the Sniper ain't up for some fighting game, they also left him alone.

He wanted the Sandvich from the Hoovies, but they declined.

Sniper finally got his Sandvich after he offered the Hoovies one of his Jarate. Which in short, his jar of piss. Two of his piss could become a scrap metal. Finished with his business, he left the server and went back to his home—the camper van. He drunk so much Bonk and ate too much Sandvich, the next morning, when he tried to piss in his jar, it became so huge like a skyscraper.

The sight itself, an enormous Jarate as tall as an office building, it made Sniper dropped his jaw and made him ready his backpack and his trusty kukri for whacking bushes—the bushwacka. He also readied his bow, in which always seem to hit when he thought it would never hit, vice-versa. He knew something was coming, since there was a double-door on the bottom of this Jarate tower.

The moment he opened the door, there was a message saying 'map change to prophunt_jaratekingdom'. He got teleported into a place where everyone was Jarate, hiding in a pile of Jarate. In the meantime, Sniper's bow changed to a flamethrower.

He was given instructions to clear out all of the enemy Jarate by himself with the little amount of time he had left, before he could finally return safely. He searched far and wide in this utterly confusing map, and he nearly gave up for being repeatedly bullied like Saxton Hale in this game of cat and mouse. Until he randomly sprayed fire and hit a random Jarate.

Not long after, he was banned for racism.

The experience was so horrible, Sniper swore, not to ever drink Bonk and eat Sandviches again—except in Randomizer mode, where you can never guess what kind of weapons you're going to get.