The Diary of Ashiya

Hidden Content Hide H Membutuhkan 9914 post(s):

**Hidden Content: To see this hidden content your post count must be 9914 or greater.**

​

 

Hidden Content Hide H Membutuhkan 991010 post(s):

**Hidden Content: To see this hidden content your post count must be 991010 or greater.**

​

 

Hidden Content Hide H Membutuhkan 9911 post(s):

**Hidden Content: To see this hidden content your post count must be 9911 or greater.**

​

 

UnHidden Content Hide H:

it sucks that no matter how many times you do good, it's just never good enough.
'cause once you screw it up, people will always remember that.
and it sucks big time when you know that everything you do is gonna be looked down on,
even if it's something you like doing and are proud of.

i know i just need to calm the f-ck down and breathe.
and like, i should probably just wait until monday to think about it..
like consider all of the options and form my thoughts right and put out coherent words
but damnit man i'm about to literally lose it

everything is such an absolute mess i feel like an absolute shit
and it's only midday
wth

f-ck this life. being an adult is for suckers.
*flips table*
#ashiya

​

 

Today, a mourning dove took one look at me and flew away.
Already I am full of northern lights,
that would rather fade than flame.
Today, I was too tired to lift myself from the battleground of my bed.
#WofW​

​

 

awww
is nice, this.
amazing lights up in the air!
saving it for rainy day x

Spoiler

[video=youtube;tZ7hdgiVYY8]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZ7hdgiVYY8[/video]

#video​

​

 

Hidden Content Hide H Membutuhkan 100 post(s):

**Hidden Content: To see this hidden content your post count must be 100 or greater.**

​

 

Hidden Content Hide H Membutuhkan 1000 post(s):

**Hidden Content: To see this hidden content your post count must be 1000 or greater.**

​

 

Sometimes, I miss the way that things used to be.
I miss the simpler times we had.
But life is no longer as simple as nibbling a honey bread.
I've grown up and I have a long ass road ahead of me.
#ashiya

​

 

you dumbest ridiculously-silly-and-idiotic stupidhead! <3
of course i will be there for you! just like always ~
as a matter of fact, i don't think there's anyone else who is willing to put up with you like i am lol
friends forever, remember? (;
besides, i’ve been putting up with you for this long already,
so i might as well stick around and be a part of all the crazy ass shit you get yourself into, don't ya think? d:

i admit it feels terrifying.. but it's also exciting at the same time!
trust me, we’ll get thru this shit together just fine.
how do i know for sure, you ask? well, because we always do!
and this journey of ours is really going to change things for the better <3
#ashiya

​

 

Hidden Content Hide H Membutuhkan 100114 post(s):

**Hidden Content: To see this hidden content your post count must be 100114 or greater.**

​

 

Hidden Content Hide H Membutuhkan 100214 post(s):

**Hidden Content: To see this hidden content your post count must be 100214 or greater.**

​

 

Hidden Content Hide H Membutuhkan 100314 post(s):

**Hidden Content: To see this hidden content your post count must be 100314 or greater.**

​

 

Hidden Content Hide H Membutuhkan 1010 post(s):

**Hidden Content: To see this hidden content your post count must be 1010 or greater.**

​

 

being taken for granted sucks.
like seriously.
it. sucks. big. time.

is it really that hard for some people to say please and thanks
when they ask other people to do something for them?
to ask whether they're able to do it? whether they want to do it?

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-​

it is when i hear someone says something to someone else
and it stings
that i realize, i've never heard such words being said to me
while it would actually mean so much had they been

it hits home.. and it hits real hard

Spoiler

Hidden Content Hide H Membutuhkan 101514 post(s):

**Hidden Content: To see this hidden content your post count must be 101514 or greater.**

#ashiya

​

 

eeep i see people wearing sweaters and scarfs more often these days
looks like it's officially fall up there northeast!! hell yeaah
a part of me is sooo excited for that <3
it means me and the boys have got like a whole month to just chill and do some catching up and whatnot lmao

another part of me feels like shit, though. meh.
flu seems to be my biggest fan yet this time of year. duh.
here come runny nose, hoarse voice, sniffles, sneezes and all that shits
ugh why am i so weak im so hating myself ):

i juts hope for this damn unpleasant ride to stop
before the boys come for the fall break, tops
i've been choking down herbs and honey - and a ridiculous amount of water, obvs -
i'll cry if all of those do nothing and ruin the day offs
#ashiya

​

 

it's confusing. i hate it.

i wonder what does he think he's doing
or does he even think, like, at all?

am i the only one to even consider to think about this whole thing seriously?
(considering to think. wow. that sentence is so fvcked up. just great.)

because he surely makes it seem effortless, like, like it's /nothing/ for him really.

am i reading into things too much?
is there even anything to read into?

god this is so not healthy. my head hurts so much.
#ashiya

​

 

it just hit me
that the thing i probably fear the most is actually unavoidable
(wait, unavoidable doesn't sound right..)

it just hit me
that the thing i probably fear the most is actually inevitable
(yeah, that sounds more like it)

like i just realized that all this time i've been makin a fool out of myself
hoping that somehow i don't have to really go thru with it
..that i thought i might have a choice to say 'nah'
but really in the back of my head i know that there's no other answer than 'yeh'.

like the anxiety got the best of me and somehow
i've managed to build this wall of denial inside my head to, like, i dunno,
perhaps i thought i was protecting myself.. but i know better now

so yeah the wall is crumbling
the very wall i build myself, guarding me from even i'm not sure what
*rolls eyes*

yeah i'm taking it down now

and now it's about how am i gunna prep myself for what's coming up

funny i should say, now looking at it from a different perspective
like pfft
look at this silly girl asking and answering herself a few questions inside her own little chamber of thoughts


#ashiya

​

 

what is sleep?
what is sleeping pattern?


btw ternyata slime sweatshirt nya murah euy! lebih murah daripada sepatunya
shipping fee nya sih yg bikin keselek
bisa juga sih nitip yg mudik, tp bisa setaun juga nungguinnya

eh tapi itu punya si tomo keknya kan uda kekecilan yah. cepet banget sih dy numbuhnya
punya dy dihibahin aku aja dong yaa daripada aku beli sendiri ini
#ashiya

​