murasaki LINE

Dreaming TONIGHT

dreaming TONIGHT
---dreams journal---​

Spoiler: 23.07.09 3.29am

The first time I dream about Junsu. I supposed that I'm a dancer. The show named kokuhou, that held in Malaysia. Tohoshinki was the guest there. I ran to center stage when their video has start. And when they come out to give comment, Junsu was the first. They sat in front of our center stage. He is commenting about some people's gossip related to aya matsuura that sat next to him. I guess, before, they already talk about it. But as he confirm it to her at the conference, she act like he is cheating her to say that kind of gossip. He feel sad and regret about that. After a performance from aya, Junsu sat again at their chair in front of me once again, while Yunho giving comment. He saw the poster (his poster of course) that in my hand. He start smiling at me, when I was like looking at him for all time. I shake my hand, and he reply it with a smile. Then he stood up and gonna leave. I'd say daijoubu da na Junsu. I hope he's heard it.

Spoiler: 16.11.09 1.52pm

This is my second dream with Junsu in it. It's rather short. The set was a TVXQ's mv, in Junsu singing part. They're wearing black clothes, and Junsu's like vest coat, but it's so short and revealed Junsu's sexy waist line. I suppose that I'm a model on that mv and what I dowas like clinging my arm around his sexy waist. He got tiny wait. They got their faces on camera, but I'm not. I'm just like facing backward.

Spoiler: 30.12.09 2.58pm

It would be the third time I dream about Junsu. I was at class with wenny and adit. I got so sleepy, and thank god we go out early. Wenny call someone, ask him where he is. He's downstair at teacher lounge, we're going there. And I see all 5 of them eating in a row. And Junsu say hi to us. We couldn't get there, so we walk out, and I saw 4 girls eating in front of a restaurant just so they could see TVXQ member while eating. I know its short.

Spoiler: 08.03.10 8.13pm

The forth time I dream about Junsu. I feel like I'm just watching them only, without doing some action. Tohoshinki was performing in some hall like basketball hall. Finishing one song, and then getting ready to perform another without using backstage. We're all watching on a higher platform around them. They lining and face the audience. I'm on their left side. I could see Junsu try to look at the monitor behind him, then he start focusing on monitor at front with his serious face. The monitor was small and placed in the ceiling. Then the song started. They perform the opening dance and cut it short. I see Yunho and the rest stop in rythm, but Junsu, he still dancing and realizing he is late to stop. Without making some expression he lined up again with everyone. Junsu sing the first lyrics, so he step forward with his charismatic style and start singing his voice with his heart. And the dream was over just like that. I believe, there was nothing that keep the fans to them, but we're there and watching them really nicely without trying to getting closer to them.

Spoiler: 18.03.10 3.18am

The fifth dream about Junsu. I think I'm in Japan. I'm just gonna watch a live show on TV station NHK. A lot of artists would perform there. I'm at the backstage with other fans. Tohoshinki is the main guest. So they got their own room each. I only see Changmin going out his room to the next room that got Yunho's name on it. So I got myself to find Junsu's room. He and Jaejoong got vip room with 1 guard each at front. It is because they're the lead singer for their 2 songs. The door was opened. I see Jaejoong go toward us in the alley of his room and then turn to his right. Without greeting fans, as cold as he is.Then I wait for Junsu to go. A few minutes later, all worth it. Junsu in stunning black suit with white shirt, long black trouser walking toward me. Just because I was standing in front of the door. Junsu made a cute mistake for walking pass the door, he was really close. And the guard tell him the direction to the stage. Junsu going back to the room and turn left. When he already gone, I cry my eyes out. Tears run down my face and wet my t-shirt on the left arm side. All of it. Then I got myself at studio, the mc called out all the guest name. Dae guk (D-NA) was 1 of them. And then, TOHOSHINKI!!! In the big screen, there is their short clip of the introduction. The mc called their names 1 by 1. Junsu's name at the very end, after Jaejoong, got somesplit second, and then XIAH!!! It's looks like he is the main event. Then they came in to the stage. Yunho, Changmin and Yoochun got to the stage, followed by Jaejoong. And the last is Junsu. It was doushite opening song. According to the list of the show, Tohoshinki should sing 2 new songs. But the dream suddenly change. Suddenly I was in a room with my sister and cousin watching the show at a computer with a big screen. Because I have to go to bathroom, I have to paused the video. Thats the end of the dream.

Spoiler: 28.06.10 6.29 am

Had a dream. I got stalker around me, he always wanted to be with me. Just don't understand the reason that i've already told him a thousand times. The reason that I don't want to be with him. Creepy to have a guy like that around, and somewhat he get close enough to me to hold my hand. Shook him of then I run. Thinking of my boyfriend, wanted to see him. That's the place that the stalker couldn't harm me. Entering the great music hall. I see the white shirt lying on the floor. In the center of the hall, the black grand piano stand there. Found Yoochun lying on the floor half naked. Looks like he's tired because of plays too much piano. Sweating all over his body. Wanted to get closer to him. And I woke up.

Spoiler: 01.12.10 10.14 am

Been a long time since I dream about Junsu. I thought I wouldn't get dream like this again. The dream was about school. I was in my junior high, and having trouble adapting to the class. I sat alone and had my closed friend, Febri right behind me. She made me through the day. I don't know most of my classmate. Right after the bell rang, I stormed out the class to get home fast. Outside the And I met this guy, he just standing there look straight to me and smiling. But I don't know him at all. The next day at school, when it was almost end of school time. We should get the class cleaned. I got clumsy, made mistake throwing dirt on my desk. Everybody else was like laughing at me. And this boy was standing in front of me, saying 'Anybody else could done the same mistake, why are you laughing at her?' while I took my desk to go outside of the class, I realize that the boy who sitting at table next to mine was Junsu. After finished cleaning, I was intending to go home fast. And then outside the school I met that guy again, this time I walk to him and stand in front of him. Suddenly he hug me. After get this close to him, I look at his face. It's Yoochun, then without thinking, I kissed him. What he say was, 'That's my girl.' And suddenly the dream was ended.

Spoiler: 18.03.11 5.47pm

At last, I dream about Junsu again... I thought that I wouldn't dream about him again. But before I was asleep, I was looking at Xiahlendar. I felt, its been a long time since I really get into looking at him like that. And wondering if I ever dream about him again. And I really dream about Junsu! So the dream was about a fanmeet. You know that next month JYJ will be hold a concert in Indonesia. But there isn't going to be a fanmeet. In the dream, I was waiting with everyone else. There are about 30 peoples in there. I know it's just a bit. While waiting, there are some people that chatting about fanchant. I haven't got the chances to memorized it. I was ashamed. And then some peoples are chatting about the album, if they might have the chances to ask Junsu to autograph it. And again, I ashamed because I don't bring mine. Then the fanmeet start, I saw Junsu come and greet us. After that, he goes straight to the other room for special fanmeet, that only could 5 peoples attended and picked randomly. I wasn't get the chances. But the other fans who couldn't get the chances to get inside just standing right outside of the room and looking at Junsu. By that, Junsu look so concerned and whispering something to his manager. And then, after some talking, the rest of us who standing outside are allowed to get inside. There are 5 chairs in front of Junsu and the other chairs was surround us in U shape. Me and my friends got there first, but I thought that we shouldn't sit in that 5 chairs, and I got a chair in the next table of Junsu's. It was close enough to see him, to hear his voice. He start with reciting a part of his musical. Some of us are reciting with him while reading the pamphlet. That time, I realized that the 5 chairs was only sited by 2 friends of mine and they left me a sit too. Finally I took the chance, I was sitting in front of Junsu! Just like that, the dream was faded away.

Spoiler: 15.06.11 3.03pm

Weird funny dream...

Spoiler: hide

We're on holiday...
While we waited for our plane, we just chit-chatting with friends. And there was my sister with her friend. She asked for my ID card. And I lend it to her and continuing my conversation with my friends.

---

When we arrived at the hotel, we all need to get our ID card copied in order to check in. I don't have mine, and I remember I gave it to my sister. So I asked her.

She said, "Her friend has it." So I said, "Take it back I need it right now to check in!"
She call him, and the hotel owner came to us and said, "You shouldn't made a phone call in here, there is no signal."
My sister just keep trying to call her friend.
So I said, "Are you deaf? The hotel owner just said you couldn't have a phone call in here. Go out..."
She walked away...

While waiting for my ID card. I spending my time just outside the hotel with two friends of mine, Richard and Vincent.
There's an old long wooden chair and table. It's quite rusty. We sat there and joke around. I don't remember what was we were talking about. But there's one I remember, Richard was sitting on the table in front of me, joke around, laughing so hard. And I worried the table would break and he gonna fall. But the table just alright. It just made a lot of noise.

The suddenly my sister's friend came. He straight away went to my sister and gave her the ID. Even tough, he already saw me waiting in front. And after, he went back without apologizing to me.

So I shouted, "Hey you! You should start apologizing to me!"
He just stood there with his annoying face. Waiting for my next action.

I grumble, "You insolent people! Your mom doesn't teach you some manner?"
I was on my way to get him, but Richard stopped me.

And that jerk just went away. While he walked away, I gave him the finger. And let everybody saw it.

While I was checking in. I should fill a question on a piece of paper. This time I accompanied with Jaejoong and Yunho.
We're answering the same question. I already been in this hotel for a few time. And I know exactly which the question I should answered. I finished mine so fast. And waiting for the other two.

I asked Yunho, "What took you so long just to answer this question?" And I peek to his paper. And I saw his answer, but he's trying to answered all of the questions.
So I said to him, "Have you ever been in here? I often gets in here. You just need to fill this one question."
He looked understand now and a bit embarrassed. He turned to his right and asked Jaejoong, "Hyung, how's your answer?"
While Jaejoong was thinking so hard to answer the question, he's just nodded and continued to read the paper.
"Hyung, do you know we just need to answer this one question?" Yunho started again.
"What? Why didn't you tell me earlier?" his face look like someone had just kidded him.
Then after they finished their answer. I started to compare their answer. We got so much laugh together. I don't remember what their answer was.

Where's my Junsu? I was looking at Junsu poster before sleep, why isn't he showed up on my dream?

Spoiler: hide

At night, we wanted to buy somethings in mart across the street. This time, I went there with entire cast of Friends.

We're shopping, looking for things to buy. And suddenly, some robber came inside and threaten to harm us.
Anyway, I don't know how, but I got their attention and now they wanted to harm me. Joey don't want anything happen to me, so he stood in front of me. And started to fight them back to the front door. Joey was losing, but suddenly he pulled out a knife from his back jeans and started stabbing the closest person.

While Chandler fighting with one robber that gets on the back of the store. Sounds of bottle shattering, and a body dropped down.

After all the robber down, we gathered around meat corner. Ross started talking, "We all gonna catch cold in the prison."
Monica got away and came back with a roll of meat in her hands. "This would warm you up."
We all look to the raw meat, didn't dare to started eating. Monica lost her patient, grabbed the meat and pull a chunk to eat it. Then the others followed.

Spoiler: 19.12.12 7.56am

It was a playground.. We're people having fun riding rides. I guess there was some kind of a recording of a show. Junsu was there, he's riding a round ride where you sit on the sides and it would spin around and bouncing up and down. At first, he's just be there alone. And then people get on it too. Some notice that he is Junsu and wanting to sit as close as they could. But the man that guarding that ride told them to balance it and dividing the people to the sides. I know that Junsu is there. So even tough I kinda bit afraid of the ride, I made myself in. When I came in it's almost full. And I could see Junsu about 2-3 meters away. Those men next to Junsu, quite amazed with me getting on the ride. Because there's only a few girls on it. (This is kinda weird) and those men, (I don't know how) they recognize me as Junsu's fan. And they let me sit next to Junsu. Before I could feel him next to me, the ride goes on spinning fast enough, made me scared. Clinging my hands all over Junsu's arm.

After the ride, (I don't know how I let my sight of Junsu) I went to a room, which filled with desks and chairs like a classroom with some of me schoolmates in there. They counting a polling of some things about popularity. And Junsu is falling behind (where's Cassiopeia?) I kept my spirit high to support Junsu more. And then, Tarantallegra was played in all of the speaker all around the park. (That's when I woken up by my Tarantallegra alarm)

Spoiler: 18.01.13 07.35am

I was in a small room in a middle of Junsu's fanmeeting. About 40 people in there. I'm in the second row on the left side of the small stage, with my sister and other two acquaintances. Junsu was singing a part of 'You Are So Beautiful' and 'I Don't Like Love'

After the song ended, he kindly called us to the stage, one by one he said, to take an umbrella. I guess it was an official goods or something. He points to the back of the row. One by one. At first, they were walk up so orderly. But when the pile of umbrella getting smaller and smaller, some are getting inpatient, they run to the stage and hurriedly take the umbrella. We all rushed too, and I manage to see the writing on the umbrella. The black one, with 4 cute drawing of CN Blue, which all has been disappeared. And left the white one, with TVXQ chibi's on it. I was expecting at least a writing of XIA, but there's none. So I don't take any.

While the pile if umbrella is vanished, we all come back to our seat. Junsu said he'll sang the last song. And the melody of 'Love Is Like A Snow'...

 

TALK and tea for two
---just some random conversation on my head---​

Something you'd like to remember?
The feel that you get when certain songs being played
reminds me about some TV serial
but what made me fond of the memories is because that movie is somewhat romantic
from what I can remember is

Kenapa cuma lagu aja bisa bikin kamu tersenyum sendiri?
padahal ngga ada kenangan d balik lagu ny
itu cma salah satu OST dari drama-TW
bukan macem film yang ngingetin kamu sama mantan pacar, ato cinta pertama...
cma gara2 tu film ny romantis doank
(bagian yg gw inget cma yg romantis ny aja)


am I romantic kind of girl?
i think so
why?
coz, from what I can remember...
every little thing, I only remember the love side of the story
mostly happy

 

FREE YOUR MIND and let it flow
---any lines that comes up on mind---​

lately...

I've been admiring Heechul from Suju
the one and only fanservice
kissing other Suju member

Heechul,
cowo, tp suka warna pink
cowo, tp kadang kliatan manis
cowo, tp bisa cium cowo laen
heechul smirk lovely

Spoiler: Heechul pic

​

HE is indeed BOY

recently...
i found that Suju is singing Gee
this song could makes me smiling all day long just imagining that Suju dance like girls
Heechul is cute and Eunhyuk get nice moves that even I as a girl can't do


---EDIT @ 5.28 pm---
somewhat that cute song didn't last so long in front of something that i don't like
i'm selfish indeed
you don't have to remind me after this
don't worry, i'm aware of this

so...
the song didn't last long
before... i hang out with my friends
one of them was bringing his gf
so i have feelings for him, so what?
it's just a tiny matters, don't mind it
i just don't like it
so to pretending i'm fine, i was thinking that i should often smile
and i'm trying to listen the song, repeat it all the time
at the third song, i keep smiling imagining Suju singing it
after that...
not working, not smiling...

 

here, and SHARE THE WORLD inside my head
what i've been through​

tired of something that really absurd
why is that?
lagi ngerjain paper buat skripsi nih
tentang hotel pk tema teknologi
masalah ny klo buat skripsi, tema tuh harus lebih detil lagi
teknologi khusus apa yang mau d pk
dosen 1 minta desain yg 'gila'
dosen 1 lagi minta bentuk ny dulu, baru teknologi apa yg d pk
masalah ny...
minggu ini jadwal ny preview bab 1-3
apa yg mo d tulis, jelas2 gw masi bingung gni
knp ngga d balik aja c? desain ny dulu kaya apa baru bikin paper ny
arsitek kan gambar, knp harus bikin paper dl?
if this is all about drawing and desinging, why should we starting writing these sentence that me, myself even can't define?

 

walking in a RAINY NIGHT
past memory and new thing but same old feeling as always​

in this night, i walk past in the rain
just like the tears flowing slowly in your face, the rain it's similar to
when i was sad, its feel like raining
slowly, rain pour down on your hair
washing down my feeling
old memory but something really warm
about my first love
we love to got in the rain, for just being together in a longer time
even if we got soaked wet
we don't care, as long as we could keep other companied
last long the time stopped
wish i could go back in time
i want to feel the feeling again, warm as i want to remember about you it is
because i already forget every bad memories about you
i don't have you anymore, but i wish i could remember you just slightly warm

so everytime i got caught in the rainy night
i think about you
it is sad memories makes me miss you
but we both know that we're happy now and then
i'm glad that i know you
thank you for being a friend

and rainy night that recent
at least last year thing
about someone else
he do some poem things
the thing that really rare in these times
he is romantic, gentle but cassanova kinda guy
he could charmed me in every romantic thing
he is gentle, that's the one i'd admire so much about him
he made a poem, maybe about me
i'm flatter, blushing
but it was night, rainy night
rain was washing down my feeling
tickling my face
it's supposed to be cold, but what i feel was warmness of you

this night
i was sad and bit angry
maybe about things that happened yesterday
about you, lately, about you
and some about my own self
i hate being alone these days
the rain was away those saddness

keep me warm to remember my first love

________________________________________________

celebrating 1000th post

​

 

FOREVER LOVE and life happily ever after
something i have to learn​

recently i watched a TW-drama, Autumn's Concerto
quite sad, i spilled a lot of tears on the way
but sometimes, you need to do that

i found something interesting for me on that drama

what matters the most on a relationship is trust
not love, but trust
this is something that comes out from the someone that already past the falling in love phase
i already have trust on someone for already 5 years
so i could say that love isn't what the matters the most
i'm sceptical...

after that, what you need is something, anything that could amazed you both about the others
every new thing that really made you re-fall in love again with your love
longer you're with somebody, it is harder to find someting like that
it's hard for me right now to find something like that
instead, i found that something is on other person, not him
please GOD, i wish i could go past the temptation

the same drama

I wish for every love story would be happy ending like this

 

doushite kimi wo suki ni natte shimattandarou WHY?!
some story about today event​

I was hang out with my friends in Puri Mall
having lunch at Hoka...
i was aware of our sitting position
because i sat next to my friend
and my other friend sat in front of me, with other friend sat next to her.

and for couple
what is the advantage of sitting side by side rather than sitting face to face?
i prefer to sit face to face with my boyfriend
why?!
because i don't really like public display of affection (PDA)
for me, if i see couple sitting side by side, i see them PDA-ing
but...
for something opposite of that
i do sitting side by side, in condition:
if i'm just starting on a relationship, i couldn't eat well if he was sitting in front of me
or if i had a crush on someone, same reason...
that's why i choose sit next to them

at D. Donuts, tea time
i already realize that we have something in common some time before
but my friend reminds me about that
this time, i was sitting next to him
because of being bored
i sat there with my right hand on my chin
and my friend that sat in front of me suddenly talk
"you two, are you bored? you're sitting with exact same pose"
i startled, changed my pose
started thinking about us
i do have some certain feelings about him, the one sat next to me
as you could read on some post before

and started thinking about soul mate
is that a sign of soul mate?
because, often, i could understand him better than anybody else
it's like when you speak about something, and without explaining it further more
i could understand what is he talking about
same thing around
is that a sign of soul mate?
i don't know for sure
why?!
coz i don't believe that even soul mate could exist
my definition about soul mate is two people that could life side by side
without getting the other even slightly hate being next to the others
that should be perfect match
that's so hard to get
why?!
because nobody's perfect
so there is no soul mate

 

the way i see PICTURE OF YOU
see through my eyes, see through my heart, see through my mind, see through my soul​

Do you ever felt that specific someone at anytime, could be anywhere laid eyes on you?
but not in the stalkerish thing
just someone, at random condition take a peek at you

I felt that kind of feeling
as you know, that our eyes could see nearly 180 degree
even if you look straight to something in front of you
you could still see a few things around you (from left to right)
that's why i could felt that someone was watching me

but what i do was only ignore them

i am a person that always avoids to look someone in the eyes
that's why
even i felt that somebody is watching me
it never cross my mind to warn them
as long as they didn't stepped on my personal spaces

but for myself
what picture that i see
i always see it only for a split seconds
i don't want to get caught watching someone else
or even worse
getting caught that i have certain feeling for somebody

 

don't give up, BECAUSE TOMORROW WILL COME, definitely
as long as you have faith​

somebody asked me today,
"when is the time to give up?"
someone is troubled with too much thought on mind

at the time i couldn't answer
my reason was
i can't give any suggestion if i don't know what's the problem
but that someone refuse to tell me his problem
so i can't answer

actually, that's isn't the real reason i couldn't answer
because i have slightly kinda know what's the problem is
love problem
i wanted to say to him,
just give up~!
so i could replace her
but i can't
that would break their relationship
i don't want to be someone that ruin someone else's relationship

the other reason is i don't really know what exactly the problem
is that someone was asking about time to giving up on what/who
what if i choose the wrong option
that would make that someone falls apart
or even the outcome could bring me down on my own misery

i can't answer that time

but right now
i know
my own answer
"DON'T GIVE UP"
because if today you have a lot of things hanging on your mind
tomorrow will definitely come

i promise to you
that we will be friend till the end
there is no such thing like love ruining friendship
as long as i don't tell you
we'll still be friends

 

THE secret game OF LOVE
come to the twisted world inside my brain​

stop wearing white~!
you look astonishing in those t-shirt

and you~!
stop being with that girl
just stop being a casanova

that was some stupid idea that never leave my mind

okay...
a quote of the day from yesterday
'2 cowo yang gw sayang'

explanation:
both of 'em aren't my boyfriend
just boys friend of mine, that you would see often with me
at yesterday 'picnic' to Merunda rusun
in the bus, i just have to thing about them
because they both have each of their sit for them only
and left the rest of the class sit in pairs
what's inside my mind was i won't regretting that i'm suffering (sitting with someone else) rather that see that 2 boys sharing those seats with others
what's more insane was, they both wearing white t-shirt


do you know that (most of) women, always fantasies about what they like the most?

what inside my brain, most of them are romantic kind of story
the newest that i could recall was this...

even if he have his lover, and me too
he could let her go to have me

holding my hand as i dozed off
and then caught by me
but you won't budge, you don't care about my stare
stay silent, both of us

AND you~!
stop that twisting mind of yours
let's get back to the reality

as you were saying,
"we would be friends forever"

 

SHELTER of a broken heart
when i need nobody is around, but somehow i need a hug​

too much emotion right now
when i wake up, i was thinking about my paper
i should have already wrote about half of chapter 4 right now
but no
my bad habit is waking up then turn on the computer to find anything new on forum or fb
usually i found something not so bad, or even interesting that makes me can't let the page closed
but for today, i found something that i couldn't take my eyes off
just 1 picture
curious enough to find another
but what i had was only a heart ache
as i was saying last night, you look stunning in that white shirt
and please stop being with that girl
she's not even your girlfriend
taking a lot of picture of you together
and placed a cap: me and my best friend!
creating an alibi for some unfortunate event ahead is she?
but still i'm thinking of a stupid trick ever
i'm feeling all of my energy wash away in a second
what the hell were you thinking?
just to find a lot of picture of you were taken by her
enough to conclude something
on the other way...
i did think so similar to her
but, i lead my head off you, so i won't show to everyone that most of pic inside camera that i hold was all about you
even i don't have the thought of taking a picture just the two of us
think about your girlfriend
(sigh...)

different story...
last night, i was watching YSMM with Eunhyuk and Kibum as guest
its about what the bad things girl or boy do in relationship
most of people do lie about their first time
if you start a relationship, you lied to your boyfriend about it is the first relationship you've ever been into
or when he kissed you, pretending to be not knowing about kiss and act shyly
or even telling him it is the first kiss

just for the sake of honesty in here
i never do that or planning to do that
because i always come first for telling the truth on the beginning of relationship
what matters the most for me was honesty and the way he react about my confession

and go on about that YSMM story
Kibum was asked if he ever do that kind of lie
he answer that he change depends on the partner
if he know that the girl has active personality, he would pretend to don't know anything
but if the girl is shy, he would be more active and lead more
then he asked to do some role playing with Eunhyuk as the girlfriend

take 1
Eunhyuk as the party girl, he suddenly acting chewing gum
and ask suddenly,"do you want to kiss?"
Kibum shyly uncomfortable said,"no... let's wait"
then with Eunhyuk said something about how could be man about Kibum age haven't have kiss
hesitantly Kibum leans forward and kiss

take 2
Kibum being the tough guy and Eunhyuk shyly act as a girl
Kibum first move, take Eunhyuk's hand
and then he ask Eunhyuk to go to dating spot, Han river
edit out unnecessary scene
they're at Han river
Kibum asked quickly,"have you ever kissed?"
Eunhyuk shyly said,"no, i haven't"
and nodded when he asked,"is it the first time?"
than Eunhyuk being faked kiss

(i wish that Heechul was the guest not Kibum
why?
because Heechul would definitely kiss Eunhyuk undoubtedly in the lips
>_<)

what i'm thinking about that was, not everyone could be honest person in every relationship
i wish that everyone could be honest when the time is come to meet the one they love

and the other is
that Eunhyuk-sshi got a very good acting skill
he's so cute when acting in shy girl
is everyone in group like Suju or Dong Bang always do acting in front of fans?
i won't know

 

ha-ha-ha song AND A HAPPY EASTER
just a bit of word​

first of all
happy easter to everyone that celebrate it

and about yesterday...
april mop day~
lalala...
have anyone did some trick or joke around?
me?
no...
for myself i have to change the day into temptation day
why?
i gave up into 6 temptations in one day
instead of doing my paper
sleeping, downloading video and watching it, another sleeping, reading novel, go out for eat and buy some snacks, taking a nap, playing games

that's all
i'm gonna get back to my task

 

is there any chances that i could be a SURVIVOR
please stop the time



Saengil Chukae EUNHYUK oppa
saranghaeyo cute anchovy

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yesterday...
even tough my paper hasn't finished yet
i have to go to TA
my cousin's future mother in law wants to meet me because of some work thing
she needs my help in one of her project
and leads me to have to go to PIK, to see the project this morning
and cutting my paper time again
please stop the time, please...
i feel like giving up this paper thing

even so
i went to plays some games with my friend
board games
i'll tell you later about that
just as reminder, i almost won
ck~!
that brother of you, it should be a draw, and he forgot the 1 point card
why didn't you let me win?
kinda bit frustrating

and a bit before the game
always as sweet as you are
saying things that i kinda like it, but that's something that you should do if you're mine
i like it, but i just can't show how i like it
so please just be mine

 

WE KEEP THE FAITH ETERNALLY, midouyo~!
~AKTF~​

being sad because of that news about TOHO activities would be paused
in these time, wouldn't be watch them perform 5 as 1
we are fans
in this moment of heartbreaking sadness
what we can do is all about being brave enough to stand out and say that we always believe in them
pray for their health, happiness and future ahead
where there won't be any sorrow left
where we could be united once again to shout out their names

and this is something that i could think about them

i just known you all a year back later
even tough i don't have deep feeling about you just like others who has being with you guys for almost 6 years
but within this year, i started to know you bit by bit
how our leader is so manly and as leader he is the best to be one
how our dolphin is so cute and charismatic singer he is
how our micky become so romantic and tender
how our JJ is so beautiful and have a great voice
how our maknae is so tall and become so manly

this is the first time that i cry for you
breaking my heart to see you all being separated like this
that voice of you i always to hear
sweet sound of music that could cheer me up and feel sad at the same time

even so
as the time would passed by
we would hang our hope high
that you would be sang your voice louder, louder, louder that we all could hear it again

that smile that you left me
i wish i could see the more brighter smile on your face again
don't loose faith on us
we'll always be waiting for you

-XIA-​

 

colors ~ melody & harmony IN LOVE
~A.K.T.F.E~
Always Keep The Faith ETERNALLY​

masalah 'paused activity' ny Toho
emg bikin down, tiap inget jg jadi pengen nangis...
like junsu said,
if you sad, and someone stay beside you
the pain is halved
so if we are all stay together in this, there would be enough pain to hurt us
stay strong, stay beside them to share the sadness together
wish them to be happy

esp. for Junsu
good luck in your upcoming single~!!!
i'll buy it
i know how hard you're working on it
even in this dark time, you're never alone
we always beside you

​

 

BEEN SO LONG since i see you
hazy memories and a cloudy dream​

yesterday night
i saw a boy wearing Yunho shirt
like the one below

​

what makes me got a badmood is that the boy really annoyed me so much just being there in his spot


i have the same exact shirt like that boy wore
and the other one is Junsu's shirt like this:

JUNSU ​

okay...
that's just an opening
a dream i had this morning
about being with my ex-BF
i don't know what memories could bring me that dream
he was the first love
the one i can't let go till 4 years after we break up
the dream was hazy, i realize that it was a dream
yet i enjoyed it like it was a memory of a recent time
but i know that been so long since we actually met each other

 

intoxication OF JUNSU
many things i liked that i realize recently​

been so long since i came here
too many obstacles that made me couldn't tell stories
such as this computer sometimes hanged
or stupid blackout
and many more of this tortures from my skripsi
lets forget that for a while

see...
even when i should start write something in here
this task came out
stupid appointment
i hate it

-edit in June 19-

- the first boyband that i ever like is Backstreet Boys
i remembered how i was crazy over Nick Carter with a friend of mine at elementary school

and then the next best thing i could remember is Boyzone
Stephen was so cute and Ronan's voice was love

the lady i always admire is Celine Dion
the voice, the attitude graceful for me

add the Savage Garden on the list
Darren's voice nearly heavenly, and Daniel's music is amazing
it's a shame they're separated

that's just the top 4 of my west music

i was an english music lover back then
Aqua, B*witched, Black Eyed Peas, Clay Aiken, Josh Groban, Kavana, Kylie Minogue, M2M, Michael Buble, MLTR, N'Sync, Spice Girls, Steps, The Moffatts

every one of them could reminds me of some certain time of my life

 

please STAY WITH ME TONIGHT
ever missed someone so much? in a dream​

this dream i had last night
about him, the first love that i have had
some said that first love never dies
i believe in that, because
even if i had a happy life for today
sometimes i miss him, even tough he is with somebody else
and the dream was connected to recent event, my friend wedding

in that wedding i was a bridesmaid
so instead of plain black dress that i would really love to wear
i've got this white gown similar to the bride's
the gown was so tight, hardly breath
and the wire inside pressed so hard to my ribs
that was what happended to my body
but when the party started, meet my friends
the effect was great
their comment was beautiful, feminine, looks so different than the usuall
even my own sister asked me how could i be so slim
some comment was the make-up was somewhat thick and less smile on my face
beside the dress, i was wearing a new high heels
that also hurting my ankle

and the dream was...
back in my high school year
somewhat me and my best friend named ran
went to his class
i just went straight away to his chair
and the conversation was just like
him: you wear that shoes again
i: yes... you noticed it, did you came to the party?
him: yup, and you look beautiful, even tough you rarely smile

the same conversation with a friend of mine recently
could be in a dream you missing someone so much
so you can manifest the conversation into your dream in a form of someone else body
confusing, i know

this is the recently heard song

i love Junsu's part
thinking of you and longing for your touch
because that's what i feel

--- it's only a dream that i know wouldn't be true ---

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Saengil Chukae YOOCHUN oppa
saranghae micky​

 

close to you ALL, CENTER OF MY HEART
center of the world of mine

Spoiler: picture

this was taken from my profile on FB
that was a screen shoot with my closest friend

friends from my past years since elementary school
they are the world to me, they showed me live
and they are around for me
i grew up with them, being mature with them
some of them are close enough to see what inside my mind
they shared my past and live inside my world now
they are friends that always around for me
and means the whole world for me

the center of my world and center of my heart...