A+23 - Visual Daybreak

Padahal udah ngeluh capek. Berkali-kali. Tapi masih bertahan? Saya bertahan karena gak mau lebih capek lagi sih sebenernya. Capek harus kenalan-cerita dari awal-pas udah lanjut cerita ini-itu berbagi pengalaman juga Sampe akhirnya memori 'ketimpa' pengalaman lama yang dianggep baru,overlap sama orang yang berbeda Singkatnya saya capek sih harus mulai dari awal lagi Bukan males ketemu orang barunya Udah pengen settle aja cuma kadang sadar diri keadaan sendiri gak bisa nuntut orang Apalagi yang relationshipnya belum kemana-mana Harus gimana?

 

Bulan Ramadhan adalah bulan yang diberkahi Allah, dimana pada bulan tersebut dosa-dosa kita juga ikut diampuni. Tapi, gimana kita ingin diampuni dosanya kalau masih memikirkan orang lain? - Ustadz Evie Effendi Well said Ustadz, this ceramah really means a lot for me. Jazakallah

 

Capek beneran capek Ya Allah maaf aku ngeluh terus perihal ini Cuma aku beneran capek sama kondisi ini, ini akunya emang yang baper, tapi... "temen doang tapi kok jalan bareng, temen tapi kok care, temen doang tapi kok bela belain ini-itu" kalo aku yang nanya duluan maksudnya apa tar jadi awkward banget kalo akunya nganggep biasa aja juga, toh ini gak biasa ah tapi mungkin buat dia biasa aja sih orang dia cerita dulu aku gini juga sama si itu temen yang lain, dan cewe cewe lain yang dia ceritain yaudah yaudaaaaaaaaah~ berarti mari kita anggep ini biasa aja oke~

 

when you feel lonelier than ever because you spend two days with someone you like but he hasn't noticed your feeling

 

SJ: Let go of my hand. It's uncomfortable. OD: Uncomfortable? Is it better now? SJ: No. OD: I am not okay either. OD: When I am with you, I am never okay. OD: Nan-nyeon. What did you do to me? SJ: I didn't do anything to you. OD: That is why it is complicated. SJ: What? OD: You did nothing, but I feel this way. My Only Love Song, Episode 12 OMG SEUNGYEONG JONGHYUNNNNNNNNN

 

I thought even my bestie doesn't notice it, but "kalian kaya yang pacaran" she said it today And I just say "what?", I doesn't even know how to tell about it the way he make me smile and laugh, the way he treat me I really really really want to tell about that but I just can't Aku capek ketika kalo aku udah bilang kalo akupun mikir kalo dia emang suka sama aku Eh ternyata kenyataannya lain, tapi ngapain dia memperlakukan aku kaya gitu? Aku capek kalo aku udah bilang aja ya terus nantinya malah jadi awkward I can't stand it Because college life is matters for me, I only has them as my real friends who know lot about me Tapi emang aku ada rencana sendiri sih Sesudah beres ini, iya, sesudah beres ini Mari kita liat apa yang terjadi

 

I really hate this kind of cycle I was the one who want it the most, but after I get it I become the one who hesitated the most Yes, it always like this, always I think I need more prayer for this one I just hope that it was the last one And become 'us'.

 

You're not secretly watching R88 right? I just want to see the video future Taek answer 'I stop eating pills' when he asked about best thing after they become a couple But the way you act just like my fave Choi Taek! I do recommend you about R88 many times but you also deny it so many times haha It's not a coincidence right? Btw, doesn't our convo kinda awkward? We both comfortable but we can't even ask each other "what are you doing?" "don't forget blablabla..."

 

Jadi sahabat cowo aku ini bener-bener ngasih teori tentang cowo yang emang kenyataan, dan aku percaya aja Secara dia agak player dan tau aja masalah begituan Tapi ternyata teori itu gak berlaku buat 'dia' LOL its completely different! Iya juga sih, kalo cewe meskipun tau tentang cewe lainnya, gak mungkin juga semuanya sama~ And now he completely pabo on relationship but the way he talk always make my heart flutter

 

You're not secretly watching WGM Jonghyun-Seungyeon couple right? Now I understand why Seungyeon always zoned out everytime Jonghyun say something cheesy AAAAAAAARRRGGGHHHHH!!! How I supposed to reply your cheesy comments?

 

Kalo dipikir-pikir mbak itu sungguh extra sekali tahun lalu Sampe labrak aku yang notabene cuma mantan pacarnya doang dan marah-marah tiap kali aku ada perlu sama pacarnya Segitu gak percayanya kah sama pacarnya? Bukannya kalo misal udah saling percaya ampe pegang buku tabungan begitu harusnya udah next level ya? Kalo emang "I'm your next level bitch on your relationship" percayalah sama cowonya dong mbak Pacaran kalian itu udah next level loh tapi kok mbaknya sibuk ngurusin masa lalu pacarnya Masa lalu itu merugikan mbak, cukup jadi pelajaran aja Saya aja kalo liat masa lalu tuh menyesalnya luar biasa! Kok bisa mbaknya gali lubang yang gak perlu dan bikin sakit hati orang lain Bisa dibilang dia itu mantan terbaik dan sahabat terbaik di hidup aku, sayangnya dapet jodohnya kaya mbak itu kok aku jadinya kasian ya Saya jadi ikut-ikutan benci sama dia yang plin-plannya luar biasa semenjak ketemu sama mbak Tau gak sih mbaknya selama 4 tahun dan 2 tahun temenan saya sama dia itu kaya gimana? We both betraying each other, be there for each other, fight with each other in a good way. Mbaknya nyaman-nyaman aja kayanya ya pacarannya selama ini? Kasian. Apa saya dan dia dulu pacarannya terlalu easy going ya? Mau dia dulu lirik cewe lain, bilang cewe lain cantik blablabla, when he only need physical appearance but in the end he always comeback to me. I do the same, we both annoying yet clingy to each other. Tau gak mbak? Kalo misal memang mbak percaya sama relationship kalian, gak perlulah ada acara labrak mantan. Toh tidak akan menghapus kenangan yang sudah ada, yang gak akan tergantikan. Kalo dia bilangnya semua memori saya dan dia dulu sudah tergantikan sama mbak, berarti mbaknya cuma peralihan doang dong ya? Sorry not sorry memang saya memaafkan kelakuan mbaknya, tapi yang namanya sakit hati mah ada aja mbak Semoga bisa dibawa ke perhitungan nantinya ya Salam dari orang yang sudah kalian rusak hidupnya selama setahun ini

 

Boyce Avenue - Half Of My Heart (original song by john mayer) I was born in the arms of imaginary friends Free to roam, made a home out of everywhere I've been Then you come crashing in Like the realest thing Trying my best to understand all that your love can bring Oh, half of my heart's got a grip on the situation Half of my heart takes time Half of my heart's got the right mind to tell you that I cant keep loving you Oh, half of my heart I was made to believe I'd never love somebody else I made a plan, stayed the man who can only love himself Lonely was the song I sang 'Til the day you came Showing me a another way and all that my love can bring Oh, half of my heart's got a grip on the situation Half of my heart takes time Half of my heart's got the right mind to tell you that I can't keep loving you Oh, half of my heart With half of my heart Your faith is strong But I can only fall so far so long Time to hold, later on You will hate that I never gave more to you Than half of my heart But I can't stop loving you But I can't stop loving you But I can't stop loving you With half of my, half of my heart Oh, half of my heart Half of my heart's got a real good imagination Half of my heart's got you Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you That half of my heart won't do Half of my heart is a shotgun wedding to a bride with a paper ring Half of my heart is the part of a girl who's never truly loved anything Oh, half of my heart Oh, half of my heart Half of my heart Oh, half of my heart Half of my heart Oh, half of my heart Half of my heart

 

I really hope this is going to be last, yes I hope for it I may looked tough outside but I'm not I just hope he accept me they way it is, the way I am right now I don't need his past, I need him now and forever Ya Allah, can I?

 

Sometimes I really want to have some me time like old days Listening to same song for a couple days Sleeping, laughing and eat while watching some shows

 

Sometimes behind every post I update whenever they are is to prove someone that I'm happy But what's the need? Not everyone care and nor do I about them. That's only for certain someone behind this, the one make me feel miserable every time I think about him Oh not only him but THEM. But for now just let me let go of that feeling That greedy feeling and bad desire about winning the situation Just let me live my life peacefully for now

 

Hmmm sekarang updatenya beda lagi ah, Gini, saya tau kalo saya punya sedikit reputasi buruk di grup anda I don't care! Gini deh, saya tau saya di cap sok sibuk, I know Saya di cap lebay, dan mungkin sok, terserah Masalahnya, saya bener-bener lagi sibuk sekarang, bahkan waktu buat sekedar nonton show pun gak ada Saya tau saya masih ada tanggung jawab disini, dan saya bakal selesain semuanya saya juga ada target, dan sayangnya prioritas saya bukan hal disini saat ini jadi whoever you are plis pengertiannya untuk sekarang, saya lagi ngejar deadline studi saya

 

Woah it's been a long time we back together again But I just wanna share something here And yes, my mood swing is back! I don't know why but this time I got really bad habit happened Udah parah bangetlah mood swing kalo lagi period, rasanya pengen dikurung aja gitu seminggu gak ngapa ngapain Suddenly regret so much thing hiks But I need to get my head straight again You know that you can't regret anything, they're already passed so just let them go

 

Lagi mulai NO-ZERO days tapi ternyata lumayan sulit Gpp lah, udah daripada "ah hari ini gak bisa", biarin aja Tapi ... BESOK HARUS BISA! Semangat ken! Ada jalan dari semua niat kok..

 

Kenapa dari semua hari, semuanya harus hari ini? Lebih tepatnya 2 hari ini, pas aku bener bilang mau mulai sesuatu yang baru di Desember Dengan mindset baru, tapi semuanya di awali dengan kabar kaya gini Mau ceritapun harus ke siapa Semuanya aku yang salah Selama ini udah kaya di jalanan penuh lumpur Makannya mau coba cari jalan setapak Tapi kenapa gini amat hari pertamanya